Slow Dancing In A Burning Room
by Zeppleingirl08
Summary: Jackie is married to another man even though Hyde still loves her. He lets her go willingly because he wants her to be happy. But when an unexpected event in our world occurs and breaks up Jackie's family...Hyde will be the first one she turns too.
1. It's Not A Silly Little Moment

**Ok here is a new story I wrote! It's about Hyde letting Jackie go to a better man but still loving her forever. An unexpected circumstance occurs in our world and Jackie's family pays the price for it. Jackie's husband Christian and Hyde are actually best friends and Hyde will be there to help Jackie out with her kids. The beginning is going to be flashbacks to explain how it all happened and then the last scene will be present time. Read it and let me know what you think of it! :) Read and REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW! **

* * *

After Sam had showed up, Hyde had given up on his relationship with Jackie. He told himself that no relationship should be that complicated, no matter how much he loved her. So for four years he spent his time burning Jackie and whoever she was casually dating at the time. It killed him to do it but it was the only way to keep himself from pulling her to him and telling her he loved her. And then Christian showed up. Christian Lee Taylor to be exact. He was from Boston and had served in the Vietnam War. He was a strong, motivated, educated, confident, caring guy who made Jackie fall and fall quickly. When he saw how much Jackie cared about Christian, his relationship with Sam fell apart due to his jealousy. After Sam left, he tried a little to break Christian and Jackie apart but Jackie had freaked out.

_Hyde was sitting in the basement thinking of his newest plan to get Jackie and Christian to break up. He had tried telling Christian that she was a slut and slept with everyone in Point Place. He had told him that Jackie was schizophrenic but even that didn't work. So…Hyde was currently trying to find a way to get Jackie to kiss him so that it would look like she still had feelings for him. But then, the door flew open. In came a fuming Jackie who looked like she was ready to kill. _

"_What the hell is your problem Steven?" She screamed._

_Hyde jumped and his feet fell from the coffee table. "Jackie? What are you doing here?"_

_"Just shut up and answer the question!" She yelled. "What is your problem?"_

_Hyde stood up and smirked. "I don't know what you are talking about." He said innocently._

_Jackie slapped his arm. "Don't play innocent with me Steven. Christian told me all about the little rumors you were spreading around about me."_

_Hyde sighed. "Listen Jackie I-"_

_"No. You listen Steven." She sighed. "I gave you everything I had Steven. I would have died for you if I had too! But you broke my heart. You broke my heart so bad I never thought I would be able to be with another man again. But then I met Christian. He changed everything for me Steven…for the first time since we broke up…I can smile and be happy. Why are you trying to ruin this for me?" She said out of breath and in tears. _

_Seeing Jackie like this made Hyde feel many different things. He was sad that she wasn't crying about how much she loved him anymore. And yet, he knew she was happy. And deep down, no matter how much it hurt, that made him happy. He wanted to see her have everything she deserved. And even though he wanted to be the man that gave her all the things she wanted, he knew he couldn't. He had been given too many chances, and he had blown each and everyone. Now…he had to let her go. Forever._

_He sighed. "I'm sorry."  
She cocked her head to the side. "What?"_

_He stepped closer to her. "I said I'm sorry. And I really mean it Jackie."_

_Jackei opened her mouth to say something and then closed it. "I…I just…now I'm confused."_

_He smiled. "The thing is…I love you Jackie."_

_She scoffed. "How can you love me? You married another woman."_

_He nodded. "I know. And that was the stupidest thing I ever did. If I could change it I would…but now I can't. But when I saw you with Christian and how happy you were with him…something inside of me snapped. I wanted to be the guy who made you that happy. But now I know that I can't be that guy. And that you really love him."_

_She nodded. "I do love him. I really do Steven."_

_He swallowed the lump in his throat. "Ok then. That's all that matters. I promise…I won't come in between you and Christian again. He's a good guy and you deserve each other."_

_Jackie wiped her tears away. "So you're letting me go?"_

_He closed his eyes and looked down. "Uh yeah…I'm letting you go."_

_Jackie walked closer to him and held his hand. "Thank you Steven."_

_He looked up at her and cracked a small smile. "Yeah, whatever."  
_

_Jackie stood on her tip toes and wrapped her arms around his neck. She held him tight and breathed him in. "I will always love you Steven J. Hyde. No matter what…I will always love you."_

_Hyde held her tight as if it was the last time he was ever going to hold her. And deep down, he felt like it would be. "I'll always love you too Jacks."_

_She pulled back. "Can we be friends?"_

_He nodded. "I'd rather have you as a friend, than not have you in my life at all Jacks."_

_She smiled and kissed his cheek. "Thank you."_

_He nodded. "Go find Christian…"_

_She nodded. "I will." She walked towards the door. "You know you two could be good friends Steven. He loves Zeppelin and he is amazing at the guitar."_

_Hyde smiled. "I'll have to call him sometime."_

_Jackie smiled. "Bye Steven."_

_He waved. "Bye Jacks…"_

* * *

After that, Hyde had stuck to his promise and left Christian and Jackie alone. And when he did that, their relationship only grew stronger. Whenever he saw them together, Christian would be listening intently to whatever Jackie was saying. Or Jackie would be laughing at whatever he had said. It made him happy to know that Jackie was being treated right. One day at the store, he was closing up when he heard a knock on the front door. Hyde checked to see who it was and saw that it was Christian, and he was shocked.

_"Oh. Hey Christian. Jackie's not hear if you're looking for her." He said._

_Christian nodded. "Yeah she's hanging out with Donna tonight." He said._

_Hyde nodded. "Oh…well I was just about to close. But I guess if you wanted to buy a record I wouldn't mind."_

_Christian shook his head. "Uh no…that's not why I'm here."_

_Hyde stared at him for a moment. "Is everything ok? Is Jackie alright?"_

_He nodded. "Yeah. She's great. I was wondering if you wanted to go grab a beer." He said._

_Hyde was silent for a few moments and just sat there for a second. "A beer?"_

_Christian smiled. "I know…it will probably be awkward. But…whatever."  
_

_Hyde shrugged. "Yeah sure. I've never been able to turn down a beer."_

_Christian chuckled. "Great. You ready?"_

_Hyde looked back to the store. "Let me just lock up and grab my stuff. Hold on."_

_Christian stood outside the store and waited for Hyde to be done. Hyde finished counting and put everything in the safe and then grabbed his stuff. He walked out of the store and they walked across the street to the town bar. They grabbed two seats at the counter and ordered a beer._

_"So uh…I guess you want to know why I asked you here." Christian said._

_Hyde chuckled. "Well if the answer is you want to get me drunk and take me back to your place and take advantage of me…I'll kill you."_

_Christian smirked. "Jackie said you were funny."_

_Hyde took a swig of beer at the mention of her name. "She did huh?"_

_Christian sighed and twirled the bottle around. "Yeah. She did. She's the reason I asked you here actually."_

_Hyde took another swig. "I figured as much."_

_Christian sighed and took a swig of his own and looked at Hyde. "Look…Jackie told me all about your past. I know that you meant a lot to her. A whole lot…and to be honest, I am a bit jealous of what you two had."_

_Hyde sighed. "Look Christian…I know I tried to break you guys up before, but I know that she loves you. I just want her to be happy. I'm not going to come between you two again."_

_Christian nodded. "I know. Jackie told me you said that." He paused. "But I also know it is important to her that you and I are friends."_

_Hyde fidgeted in his seat. "You want to be friends?"_

_He shrugged. "Strange concept, I know. But for Jackie's sake…do you think we could just be civil with each other?"_

_Hyde looked over at him. "I don't know…who do you think shot J.F.K.?"_

_Christian stared at him. "I think they did it…and they don't want us to know."_

_Hyde smirked. "Huh."_

_"Look I know you must think I'm just some military hot head since I served in Vietnam. But I'm not…I don't go around pushing rules and regulations on people and I don't really believe Vietnam was right. I went because I was drafted." He said._

_Hyde nodded. "How was it over there?"_

_Christian shuddered. "Scary as fuck man. God I lost so many friends over there…to many to count."_

_Hyde stared at him for a moment. "You get hurt?"_

_Christian nodded. "I got shot in the back. Got a purple heart for it actually."_

_"Good for you man." Hyde said. "That's brave stuff."_

_Christian shrugged. "I guess so. My Dad wanted me to stay in the military so I'm just praying no other war starts up…but the chances of that are pretty slim I guess."_

_Hyde nodded. "People always fight. The man does it all…"_

_Christian snickered. "Damn the man…"_

_Hyde laughed. "Ok now you need to stop…I'm actually starting to like you."_

_"Careful man…Jackie will kill us if we go down that road." He teased._

_Hyde just shook his head. "That's not what I meant."_

_Christian nodded. "I know." He paused. "Look…I guess the real reason I'm here is because I want you to know that I'm going to take care of Jackie. I know it must be hard for you since you still care about her and all…but I really love her. I'm not going to hurt her."_

_Hyde took a swig of his beer. "Jackie's special man. Really special. And I fucked her up good. If you hurt her…I'll hurt you. Got it?"_

_Christian nodded. "Got it."_

_Hyde looked over at him. "So you want us to be friends for Jackie's sake then?"_

_Christian nodded. "Yeah. But I mean…who knows…we could end up being good friends couldn't we?"_

_Hyde shrugged. "Maybe."_

_Christian smiled. "Good. So were clear now?" He said holding his hand out to him._

_Hyde looked at his hand and sighed. "We're clear."_

* * *

After that day, Hyde and Christian were fast friends. They had a lot in common, mostly the fact that they both loved Jackie. Hyde kept to his word and let the two of them be. And because of that, Christian and Jackie's relationship began to grow. After three years of dating, Christian proposed while they were away on a trip. When they shared the good news, Hyde's heart beat a little faster but he knew it was for the best. He shook Christian's hand and hugged Jackie and congratulated them both. He even agreed to be the best man at the wedding. He stood back and watched the woman he loved more than anything marry a man that wasn't him…and somehow…it was ok. Because Jackie was happy. She was very happy. At the wedding reception, Christian and Jackie were dancing when Hyde walked up to them.

_"Mind if I cut in?" Hyde asked._

_They both turned to Hyde and smiled. "Sure man. Just keep your hands where I can see them…" Christian teased._

_"Baby…" Jackie said slapping Christian playfully._

_Christian smiled and kissed her. "Have fun."_

_Christian walked away and Hyde and Jackie embraced to dance. It was like they had never been apart, they fit so well together. Jackie's hands wrapped around his neck and h is hands fell in place against her hips. As they swayed to the music, Jackie smiled up at Hyde._

_"What?" He asked when he saw the look on her face._

_"Thank you." She whispered._

_Hyde's heart skipped a beat. "For what?"_

_She smiled. "For letting me go."_

_Hyde cleared his throat. "It wasn't easy you know…"_

_She nodded. "I do know. It wasn't easy letting you go either Steven…"_

_Hyde looked over at Christian. "He's a good guy."_

_Jackie looked at him and smiled. "He really is. And I'm so glad you two are friends."_

_Hyde nodded. "Yeah we have fun together."_

_"Should I be worried?" Jackie teased._

_Hyde laughed. "No. You shouldn't."_

_Jackie smiled. "Good. But speaking of you dating…"_

_"Oh no…" He said shaking his head._

_"Steven…why don't you date?" She asked."_

_"What are you talking about? I went on a date the other night." He said._

_Jackie rolled her eyes. "Ok Molly Peter's doesn't count. She's dated every guy in this town."_

_Hyde sighed. "I just…I'm keeping my options open. Ok?"_

_She rolled her eyes. "Fine. I'm just saying…"_

_Hyde chuckled. "Don't worry about me. Ok? I'm fine."_

_She nodded. "I know you are. I just want you to be happy Steven…like me."_

_Hyde smiled. "Well I am happy."_

_"Are you sure?" She asked._

_Hyde sighed. "Look Jackie…today wasn't easy for me ok? Watching you marry someone was very painful for me."_

_"I remember what its like. I mean…I wasn't physically there…but I know what it feels like to watch the one you love be married to someone else." She said._

_Hyde nodded. "I guess you do." He paused. "I just meant that today was hard for me…and I need some time before I jump back into things."_

_She nodded. "Right. Well when you are, Christian has a cousin that I think you would really like. She's a rocker chick."_

_Hyde smirked. "You'll be the first to know when I'm ready. Ok?"_

_She smiled and leaned up to kiss him. "Ok."_

_Hyde held her close. "Congrats Jackie."_

_She held him tight. "Thank you Steven. I love you."_

_"Love you too Jacks." He said._

* * *

After the wedding, Hyde went on a few dates here and there. He dated one girl named Carly for a few months but then broke it off because he didn't think it was going anywhere. After a year of marriage, Jackie became pregnant with her first child. He was born on April 19th and they named him Jimmy. He was Jackie's pride and joy and she stayed home to raise him as Christian worked at the army base. Jackie was told she wasn't supposed to have any more kids but six years later, Jackie got pregnant again. Baby Abigail came on October 2nd and was born premature and they almost lost Jackie. But they both made it through. Hyde was Abby's godmother and the two of them were inseparable. The Taylor family lived happily for many years, until September 11th happened. That's when everything changed. Jimmy was now twelve and Abby was just six. The War on Terrorism started, and Christian was ordered to go to war.

"_This can't be happening." Jackie said._

_"Honey…everything is going to be alright." Christian tried to reassure her. _

_Jackie shook her head. "How can you say that? You're going off to war Christian! You have to go all the way around the country and leave your family here. And if you…if you…" She broke down in sobs._

_"Jackie…look at me." He said walking over to her._

_"Christian I love you so much." He said.  
_

_He rubbed the side of her face. "Baby…I love you too. You know that."_

_"This is dangerous." She said._

_"I made it through Nam didn't I?" He asked._

_"Yes you did. But you're older now." She said._

_"What are you saying?" He teased._

_She cracked a small smile. "Christian you know what I'm saying."_

_He kissed the top of her head. "I know. But I promise I'm coming back."_

_She looked up at him. "You promise?"_

_He nodded. "I promise. You, Jimmy and Abby are my world. I won't leave you."_

_She held him tighter. "God I can't believe this is happening…"_

* * *

A month later, everyone was gathered at the airport to say their goodbyes. Kitty packed Christian a First Aid kit and some of her special cookies and snacks. Red shook his hand and wished him luck. All the grandkids kissed and hugged him and the gang hugged him. Christian came to Hyde and they stared at each other for a moment as everyone was talking and Jackie was comforting the kids.

"_Well man…you better come back alive." Hyde teased._

_Christian chuckled. "I'll try."_

_"Good luck out there." Hyde said shaking Christian's hand._

_He nodded. "Thanks. I um…I need you to do a favor for me though."_

_Hyde nodded. "Sure man. What's up."?_

_"I need you to watch Jackie and the kids for me." He said._

_"Sure. I'll take care of them until you get back." He assured him._

_Christian nodded. "Right. That's good and all…but if I don't come back…"_

_Hyde shook his head. "Shut up man. Don't say that crap."_

_Christian sighed. "Hyde…I know that Jackie still loves you. I mean she loves me too…but if anything happens I want you to take care of her. Make her happy…father my kids. Please man…"  
_

_Hyde glared at him. "Man this is so morbid of you. You're going to be fine."_

_He sighed. "Hyde…please just say you'll do it."_

_Hyde stared at him and then looked over at Jackie and the kids. "I'll do it."_

_Christian sighed with relief. "Thank you."_

_Hyde swallowed the lump in his throat. "Just come back alive so I don't have to do it alright?"_

_Christian looked at his family. "I'm sure as hell going to try."_

_Hyde nodded and pulled his friend in for a hug. "Be careful."_

_"I will." He said hugging him back._

_Christian turned to look at his family who was huddled together crying. Abby was holding onto her mother's leg and then she ran over to Christian._

_"Daddy!" She wailed._

_Christian caught her and held her tight as she cried, feeling his own tears. "Oh Abba…"_

_"Daddy no go." She begged._

_Christian's heart was breaking. "I love you Abba."_

_She buried her face in his neck. "I love you too Daddy."_

_"Will you be a good girl for Mommy?" He asked in a hoarse voice._

_"Yes Daddy." She said._

_"You won't fight with Jimmy? And you'll clean up after yourself? You'll take a bath on time and get to bed?" He asked._

_She pulled away and looked at him. "Yes Daddy. I promise."_

_"Good." He kissed her face. "I love you Abba. More than anything. Don't you ever forget that."_

_Abba nodded. "I love you too Daddy…"_

_Abby ran over to Hyde and clung to him as Christian turned to Jimmy. "Come here buddy…"_

_Jimmy shook his head. "No…"_

_"Go say goodbye to Daddy." Jackie said through her own tears._

_Jimmy slowly walked over to his Dad. "Dad please come home."_

_Christian held his son tightly. "I will. I promise I will."_

_Jimmy sighed. "You have to come home."_

_"I'm going to do the best I can alright?" He asked and Jimmy nodded. "You're going to be the big man around the house while I'm gone. I need you to help Mommy around the house and help her take care of Abby. Can you do that?"_

_Jimmy nodded. "Yes I can."_

_Christian kissed his sons head. "You're my best friend buddy. You know that right?"_

_Jimmy started to cry. "I know."_

_"You need to practice you're pitching. And when I get back the first thing we do will to play ball alright?" He asked._

_Jimmy nodded again. "Ok."_

_"I love you Jimmy Jamz." He said._

_Jimmy swallowed the lump in his throat. "I love you too Dad."_

_They hugged again and then Jimmy went to go hug his sister. Christian stood up and looked at his wife who was a complete mess. She ran over to him and wrapped her arms around his waist._

_"Please don't go." She begged._

_Christian held her tightly. "Baby…"_

_"I love you so much. I need you here. I can't raise the kids alone." She mumbled into his chest._

_Christian started to cry hard too. "You won't be raising them alone. You have the gang, and then when I get back I'll help again."_

_She pulled back and held his face in her hands. "Come back to me Christian. Come back to me."_

_He held her hands against his face. "I will. I promise I will."_

_She leaned up to kiss him. "I love you." She whispered against his lips._

_"I love you too. More than anything I love you." He said again._

"_Write us and call us whenever you can." She said still kissing him._

_"I will. Write me too. Send pictures of the kids." He said._

_She nodded through her tears. "I will. Be careful! And if you get in a bad situation…just run."_

_He nodded. "I will." He kissed her again. "I have to go now or I'll never leave."_

_"That's what I was going for." She said kissing him again._

_He chuckled through his tears. "Baby…I have to go."_

_Jackie turned to the plane and then back to her husband. "I love you Christian Lee Taylor."_

_"I love you too Jackie Burkhart Taylor." He said kissing her again. "Bye."_

_They held hands until they were too far apart and Christian jumped on the plane. The kids ran to their mother and cried as she held them both and waved to Christian. The gang gathered around them and helped them grieve._

* * *

**PRESENT TIME:**

Hyde was driving Jackie and the kids back to the house from the base. Jimmy and Abby were in the back and they had fallen asleep from crying. Jackie was looking out the window and wiping her tears away. Hyde reached across the console and rubbed her hand.

"He's going to come back." He said.

Jackie turned to Hyde and smiled. "I know. It's just hard."

Hyde nodded. "No one said it was going to be easy."

She sighed and looked back to her kids. "They need their father."

"And he'll be back for them. In one year, he'll be back." He said.

She shuddered. "I don't think I can go a year without him though."

Hyde looked over at her again. "I'm going to be here to help you the whole time. You know that right? Whatever you and the kids need…I'll be there."

She smiled at him. "I know. And the kids and I love you for that."

He nodded. "Well I love you guys."

She looked back at the window. "Can we stop talking about Christian?"

He nodded. "Sure. What do you want to talk about?"

"Donna said you had a date last night." She said.

Hyde nodded. "Oh yeah. Kelso set me up with this girl named Kathy."

She smiled. "How was the date?"

Hyde shrugged. "I don't know. She was fun I guess."

She smiled. "You would make a great father Steven…I always hoped you would get married."

Hyde shrugged. "I still have time."

Jackie nodded. "You do."

Hyde smiled at her. "I do."

Jackie smiled and looked back at her kids and swallowed the lump in her throat. She prayed to God that Christian would come home safely. If he didn't…she wasn't sure what would happen.

* * *

**So...what did you think? Let me know...REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW! :) **

**Upnext...Jackie's family begins to deal with life without Christian and Hyde is there to cheer them up. But will Jimmy like that? REVIEW first if you want me to continue!**


	2. It's Not The Storm Before The Calm

**So here is the next chapter. I hope you all like it. I would really appreciate some more reviews for encouragement! :) THanks! REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW! **

* * *

Six weeks later, the Taylor family was trying their best to live without Christian. The kids were a mess without their Dad and Jackie did the best she could to make it up to them. Jimmy was hiding away in his room when he wasn't at school and Abby would just cry when she wanted her Dad. The gang was great and they were there to help in any way they could. Hyde was there the most, he cooked dinner for the kids and played with Abby and tried his best to make her laugh. Jimmy on the other hand wasn't so keen on having Hyde around. He had never been that comfortable around Hyde because he suspected that he loved his mother. Abby clung to Hyde all the time and when Hyde wasn't around, Jimmy would yell at her and tell her that their Dad would be mad. Jackie assured Abby that Christian and Hyde were friends and Hyde was just helping out while Dad was gone. One afternoon, Hyde was cooking the kid's breakfast before school while Jackie was taking a shower.

"Here you go Abby." Hyde said. "Eat up."

"Thank you Uncle Hyde." She said.

"What do you want Jimmy Jamz?" Hyde asked.

Jimmy glared at him. "Don't call me that!"

Hyde was shocked at first because he had always called him that, everyone did. "Oh…have you grown out of that nickname buddy?"

"My _Dad_ gave me that nickname. I don't want anyone but him and my Mom to call me that." He said.

Hyde nodded. "Alright. I'll just call you Jimmy then."

Jimmy nodded. "Whatever."

"Um…so what do you want for breakfast Jimmy?" He asked.

"I can get my own breakfast thank you." He said pushing past Hyde.

Hyde knew he had to keep his cool because Jimmy was missing his Dad. "Does your Mom let you use the stove?"

"Did I say I was going to use the stove?" He asked.

Hyde raised an eyebrow. "Alright…I'm sorry."

"Be nice to Uncle Hyde." Abby pouted.

Jimmy looked over at Abby. "Shut up Abby."

"Hey!" She yelled.

"Jimmy…be nice to Abby." Hyde said.

"Oh so now you want to tell me what to do?" Jimmy asked.

"Jimmy I know you're missing you're Dad. I'm not here to replace him…I'm just helping out your Mom." He said.

Jimmy scoffed. "Sure. You're here to help out my Mom alright."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Hyde asked.

"You figure that now that my Dad is gone…you can finally get in my Mom's pants!" He yelled.

"Jimmy! Don't use that language!" He yelled.

"See you didn't even deny it!" Jimmy yelled.

Hyde sighed. "Jimmy…I care about your Mother. I do. But your Dad is one of my best friends. I am here because he asked me too help your Mom take care of you guys."

Jimmy glared at him. "My Dad was only nice to you because he loved my Mom. He would let her do anything she wanted."

Hyde sighed. "Look…I know right now you're going through a lot. But I promise you that I'm not going to do anything wrong that would break up your family."

Jimmy shook his head. "Why should I believe you?"

"Hey did you guys eat breakfast?" Jackie asked rubbing Jimmy's back.

"Uncle Hyde and Jimmy fight." Abby said with a pout.

Jackie looked down at Jimmy. "You and Steven were fighting?"

"Why do you call him Steven when everyone else calls him Hyde? Do you still love him? Is he here because Dad is gone and you guys can be together now?" He asked.

Jackie stared down at her son. "Jimmy. Honey where is this all coming from?"

"Mom I'm not stupid. I may only be twelve but I can tell when two people love each other." He said.

Jackie sighed. "Jimmy, Steven is an old friend of mine. That's all. I love your father more than anything."

Jimmy shook his head. "Whatever. I know you dated."

She nodded. "Yes. We did date. A long, long time ago. Before I fell in love with your Daddy."

Jimmy glared at Hyde again. "Were going to be late for school. I'm not hungry anymore."

Jimmy walked out of the kitchen and up to his room to get his bag. Jackie sighed and turned to Hyde. "Steven I'm sorry."

Hyde shook his head. "It's alright. I know that he is just taking his anger and pain out on me."

Jackie put a hand to her head. "He's just so angry now."

"He misses his Dad. He's scared." He said. "It's understandable."

Abby hopped off her chair and went over to her Mom. "Mommy…when is Daddy coming home?"

Jackie sighed and picked her up. "We talked about this baby. Daddy won't be back for a year."

She pouted. "A whole year?"

Jackie nodded. "Yeah. I know you miss your Daddy. I miss him too. So much. But it's going to be ok."

"Hey there is something you can do for me." Jimmy said to Hyde as he came back into the kitchen with his backpack.

Hyde looked at him. "Sure buddy. What is it?"

"Leave us the hell alone." He said running out of the room.

"Jimmy!" Jackie yelled.

"Jimmy say bad word…" Abby said.

Jackie closed her eyes for a moment. "Steven I'm so sorry."

Hyde shook his head. "Jackie stop apologizing. I know how hard this is for Jimmy and you guys. But if Jimmy doesn't want me around…I'll leave."

Jackie bit her lip. "But it is a help having you around…"

Hyde sighed. "I'll stay if you want."

"I think I'll take Jimmy out after school. I think he and I need to spend some time together. Will you watch Abby for me?" She asked.

"Of course. I'd love to spend some time with my Abby." He said tweaking Abby's chin.

Jackie smiled. "Thank you."

* * *

Jackie was in the car driving the kids off to school. She dropped them off out front and Abby ran to catch with her friends.

"Hey Jimmy come here." Jackie said as he was about to walk away.

"Are you going to yell at me?" Jimmy asked.

Jackie shook her head. "No. Just come here."

Jimmy sighed and walked over to his Mom. "What?"

"Honey, I know that this is hard for you. It's hard for all of us. Steven isn't here to take your Dad's place. He's here because he is a friend of your father and I and he is helping us out." She said.

"But you did love him at one point." Jimmy said.

She nodded. "I'll always love Steven honey. He was a big part of my life. But I married your father. I love your father. Ok?"

Jimmy nodded. "Ok. I'm sorry I yelled at him. I do love Uncle Hyde…I just really miss Dad."

Jackie leaned forward and kissed his forehead. "I know you do Jimmy Jamz. I miss your Dad too. But after school, you and I are going to go out for awhile. Is that ok?"

Jimmy smiled. "Yeah. That sounds great. Thanks Mom."

"I love you Jimmy Jamz." She said. "Don't forget that."

He smiled. "Love you too Mom."

Jackie smiled as Jimmy walked to school. She got in the car and drove back home where Hyde was cleaning up.

"Hey." She said.

Hyde smiled. "Hey. How was the ride to school?"

Jackie shrugged. "Jimmy and I talked. He said he was sorry."

Hyde nodded. "I'm not holding anything against him."

She smiled. "Thanks."

"A letter came from Christian." He said.

Jackie's face lit up. "Really?"

"Yeah. Here." He said handing it to her.

Jackie's heart beat faster each time she got a letter from Christian. She took the letter from his hands and she slowly opened it. She took a deep breath and ripped open the envelope to see her husbands hand writing. Hyde smiled and walked out of the kitchen to let her have a moment to herself to read.

_Dear Jackie,_

_I can't believe I've been gone for six weeks already. The days here seem to drag on forever. It's hot as hell and I can't go through a day without missing you guys. It's not the same waking up each morning to a sweaty bunkmate rather than you. He offered to take care of my needs, thank god he was only joking. So far I haven't seen to much action. We got into a few battles when we were in the city but I haven't been too much danger. No one's been hurt yet, thank god. _

_Kitty sent me another care package. The guys love the food that she sends here. It's a comfort too to have something from home. She sent a few pictures of the kids with the last package too. God I miss them. They both look like they've grown so much and it kills me. My buddy Alex has twin girls and the two of us talk about how much we miss our kids. It's killing me. _

_And then there's you. God baby…I miss you so much. I stare at your picture each night. And the thought of seeing you again is the only thing keeping me going each day. I'm glad we took those dirty pictures before I left because those sure are keeping me going. ;). I miss you more than words can explain. I hope that you are doing well. Please don't stay at home missing me. Live your life and make sure the kids live theirs too. I'll call as soon as I can. I love you Jackie. I love you so much._

_ Love,_

_ Christian_

When she finished the letter, she wiped some tears away from her face. She went into the living room and found Hyde picking up some toys around the room. He looked up and stared at her and saw the tears falling from her face.

"You ok?" He asked.

Jackie shook her head. "No…"

Hyde sighed and walked over to her, holding her close. "It's going to be ok."

"What if he doesn't come back?" She asked.

Hyde rubbed her back. "He will. He's strong. He's made it through Nam. He can make it through this war too."

Jackie pulled away from him. "How are you so good to me?"

Hyde shrugged. "I love you Jacks."

"But I'm married to another man. I have kids with another man!" She yelled.

Hyde shrugged. "So what. I'll always be here for you Jackie. No matter what happens I'll be here for you."

Jackie sighed. "I think I need to go out for awhile. You'll pick Abby up form school?"

He nodded. "Of course."

She smiled weakly. "Thank you Steven…"

* * *

That afternoon, Hyde was waiting outside the school for Abby. Jimmy had to stay after for soccer practice so Abby was coming out alone. She walked out the front door and looked around when she saw Hyde. She ran as fast as her tiny little legs could move and launched herself at him. Hyde chuckled and swung her around.

"There's my Abby." He said kissing her cheek.

"Hi Uncle Hyde." She said.

He smiled at her. "How was school sweetie?"

"It was good. I painted a picture." She said as he strapped her in her car seat.

"You did? What did you paint a picture of?" He asked.

"Me and Daddy." She said.

Hyde smiled at her. "You should send it to your Dad."

She nodded. "I'm gonna have Momma send it." She opened her bag and handed the painting to Hyde. "See…it's me and Daddy and he is in his Army uniform."

Hyde smiled. "It's beautiful honey. Your Dad is going to love it."

She clapped her hands together. "Yay!"

He smiled. "Ok. So what do you want to do Abby? Mommy and Jimmy are going to be gone for awhile so we can do whatever it is you want."

Abby smiled. "Can we go get ice cream?"

Hyde chuckled. "I should have guessed that's what you would want."

She smirked. "You should have."

He laughed. "Ice cream it is then."

She laughed. "Yay!"

Hyde kissed the top of her head and jumped in the front seat to drive off. He smiled back at Abby in the rear view mirror. She had dark hair like Jackie and it was all tight ringlets. Her eyes were green like Christian's and her smile was purely Jackie. She had Jackie's spirit and thirst for life and all things good and she could melt his heart in a second. He loved her like his own daughter and he would die for her no matter what.

* * *

After soccer practice, Jackie was waiting for Jimmy by the car. He walked over to her and she took his practice bag and threw it in the car. She leaned down to kiss the top of his head.

"Hey Jimmy Jamz. How was practice?" She asked ruffling his hair.

He shrugged. "It was fine I guess."

She lifted his chin with her finger. "You alright?"

He nodded. "Yes."

"Are you lying?" She asked.

He shook his head. "No Mom. I'm fine." He jumped in the car before she could ask again.

Jackie was about to join him when Jimmy's coach came up to her. "Mrs. Taylor?"

Jackie turned to him. "Oh hello Mr. Jacob's. How are you?"

"I'm great. How are you holding up?" He asked.

Jackie smiled weakly. "It's a struggle each day without Christian."

He nodded. "I bet. The team really misses him bringing them snacks at practice."

She laughed. "I'm sure they do."

"Look the reason I came over to talk to you is because something happened at practice today with Jimmy." He said.

Jackie cocked her head to the side. "Is he ok?"

The coach looked at Jimmy in the car. "Physically yes."

"What happened?" Jackie asked nervously.

"One of the boys made a comment about how he had seen footage of the War on TV the other night. He said that he saw hundreds of dead soldiers lying on the ground and he bet one of them was Christian." He said.

Jackie's eyes shut and she cringed. "What?"

Coach Jacob's sighed. "I'm sorry I had to say that to you…but the thing is Jimmy got really upset. Rightfully so. He lashed out by beating Mikey up and he has a pretty bad black eye." He said.

Jackie looked at Jimmy in the car who was just looking down at his feet. "Is he kicked off the team?"

"No. We all agreed that he shouldn't be kicked off. But…Mikey's mother is pretty upset. I explained to her what happened and she was a little better about it. But I guess I'm more worried about Jimmy. I can't imagine what is going on through his head right now." He said.

Jackie rubbed her eyes. "I'll talk to him."

"I'm really sorry about this." He said.

Jackie shook her head. "You didn't make the comment."

He shrugged. "Still. I know that this is very hard for your whole family."

She nodded. "It is. We miss Christian terribly and were very worried about his safety."

"Christian is a strong guy Mrs. Taylor. I know that he will come home safely." He said.

Jackie smiled through a few tears. "Thank you Coach Jacob's."

"If Jimmy doesn't feel like coming to practice next week, we'll understand. But we'd love to have him. He's a great player and this team benefits from having him here." He said.

Jackie nodded. "I'll talk to him about it."

He nodded. "Great. Hang in there Mrs. Taylor. And if you need anything, you know my number. My wife and I would help in anyway we can. We are very thankful for the service that Christian is doing for us and the rest of the country."

Jackie smiled. "Thank you."

Coach Jacob's smiled and walked away. Jackie took a deep breath and got back in the car. Jimmy was still staring at his shoes and Jackie could tell he had been crying. She started the car and drove out of the parking lot. They drove in silence until Jackie pulled up to the old rail road tracks where Jimmy and Christian would go to when they wanted to hang out alone. Jackie turned off the car and turned to Jimmy.

"Coach Jacob's told me what happened." She said.

Jimmy didn't look at his mother. "Figured. Am I in trouble for hitting Mikey?"

Jackie sighed. "I think you know it was wrong to hit him. But now…you are not in trouble."

Jimmy nodded. "Cool."

Jackie looked out the window. "Do you want to talk about what Mikey said about Daddy?" She asked.

Jimmy swallowed. "No…"

Jackie sighed and turned to him, placing a hand on his back. "Sweetie…talk to me."

Jimmy was silent for a moment and then looked up at his Mom with fresh tears in his eyes. "It isn't fair."

Jackie leaned forward and pulled him closer to her. "I know it's not Jimmy. I know…"

"What if Mikey was right? What if Daddy is dead and we don't even know it yet?" He asked through a fit of tears.

Jackie closed her eyes. "Your father is alive honey. He is."

"How do you know?" He asked.

"I got a letter from him today." She said. "He sends his love and says he misses you and Abby like crazy."

He sighed. "But that was probably from awhile ago."

Jackie pulled back to look her son in the eye. "I know you are scared. I'm scared too Jimmy. But I have faith that your father will make it through this war. He's strong. He's fought in a War before and he wants nothing more than to come home to his family. The only thing we can do…is to pray ok? To keep the faith that Daddy will come home alive. Can you do that?"

Jimmy nodded. "Yes."

She kissed the top of his head. "Good. And I need you to be nicer to Abby. She's just as scared as we are. And you need to cut Steven some slack too. He's just here to help."

Jimmy nodded. "I know. I just miss Dad so much…I'm taking it all out on Uncle Hyde and I know I shouldn't be."

She stroked his head. "He knows that and I know that."

Jimmy looked down. "Do you really love Uncle Hyde?"

Jackie swallowed hard. "Honey I would never lie to you. Yes. I love Steven. I always have and I always will. But I love your father very much. Don't ever doubt that."

Jimmy looked back at his mother. "If you love them both, how did you marry Dad?"

"I married your father because he gave me what Steven couldn't. He gave me a safe home and the ability to have faith in a future and love. He was there for me in ways that Steven wasn't. Your father knows I love Steven but he knows I love him too. Very much. Just because I love them both doesn't mean that Steven will replace your Dad. Do you understand what I'm trying to say?" She asked.

Jimmy shrugged. "Kind of. I mean…Dad once told me that if anything were to happen to him…he wanted you to re-marry Uncle Hyde."

Jackie was shocked. "He said that?"

Jimmy nodded. "Yeah. He said that he knew that Uncle Hyde would take care of you and us. He said that Uncle Hyde was probably the better guy for you but you had chosen him and he wasn't about to let you go because he loved you so much. But he said…if you really wanted to be with him he would let you go so you could be happy."

Jackie stared at her son in amazement. "When did he say all this?"

"One night Dad and I came here and I asked him about Uncle Hyde. He told me all about how you two had dated for years and instead of asking you to marry him; he had gotten drunk and married someone else. So then you guys split up and you met Dad and fell in love and got married. But he said that he knew deep down you still loved Uncle Hyde and you always would but he asked you to marry him and you said yes so he didn't second guess it." He explained.

Jackie smiled. "You see…that is why I love your father. He would do anything for me."

"Yeah but so would Uncle Hyde." He said. "I know he loves you."

Jackie sighed. "Jimmy I know this is all hard for you to understand because you are so young. But sometimes, people just stay with you no matter what you do to get rid of them."

"So you mean Uncle Hyde just stayed with you?" He asked.

Jackie nodded. "Yes. He was a big part of my life. I can't erase him. But it doesn't change the fact that I love your father. He made me the happiest woman in the world and he gave me you and Abby. I am one lucky woman. But I would never cheat on your father with Uncle Hyde. Ok?"

Jimmy nodded. "Ok."

She smiled and kissed his head. "That's my boy."

Jimmy smiled. "Hey mom?"

She looked down at him. "Yeah babe?"

"Do I look like Dad?" He asked softly.

Jackie smiled. "You are the spitting image of your father." She said patting his head. "You have his blonde hair and green eyes. You both have the same smile and mannerisms and you are both strong, kind, intelligent, athletic men. Your father would be very proud of the young man you are becoming sweetie."

Jimmy smiled. "Really?"

"Really." Jackie said.

Jimmy smiled. "Awesome."

Jackie smiled at her son. "Want to go to the arcade?"

Jimmy nodded. "Yeah!"

Jackie smiled and drove away towards the arcade, happy about the conversation she and her son had had.

* * *

A few hours later, Jackie pulled up in front of the house and saw Abby and Hyde playing outside. She smiled and helped Jimmy grab his stuff as Abby came running up to her.

"Mommy!" She yelled.

Jackie smiled and kissed the side of her face. "Hello beautiful girl. Did you have fun with Uncle Hyde?"

Abby nodded. "Yes. Guess what?"

"What?" Jackie asked.

"I painted a picture of me and Daddy that I want you to send to him." She said.

Jackie smiled. "Sweetie that's great. I'll send it tomorrow ok?"

Abby nodded. "Yeah. Come on. Uncle Hyde started dinner."

Jackie smiled. "Ok. You coming Jimmy Jamz?"

"I think I want to talk to Uncle Hyde for a second." He said.

Jackie winked at him. "Ok."

Jackie walked past Hyde and they shared a small smile. Hyde was turning to follow them when he felt a small hand on his arm. He looked down and saw Jimmy standing behind him.

"Hey Jimmy. What's up?" He asked.

"Can we talk for a minute?" He asked.

Hyde nodded. "Sure."

Jimmy walked over to the front porch stairs and sat down. "Great."

Hyde followed him and sat down next to him. "What's on your mind?"

"I just wanted to apologize for all the things I said this morning." Jimmy said.

Hyde looked at him. "You don't have to apologize Jimmy. I understand that you are going through a lot right now."

Jimmy nodded. "I know you do. But…it was still wrong of me to say all that. I appreciate you being here to help out because I know it makes Mom feel a lot better. It takes a load off of her shoulders."

Hyde nodded. "That's true."

"I guess sometimes I'm hostile towards you because I know that you and Mom have a history. I just get scared it will end up hurting my Dad." He said.

Hyde nodded. "That's understandable. But I want you to know that I respect your Mom and Dad's relationship. I would never try and come between it."

Jimmy nodded. "Dad said that if anything happened to him…he wanted Mom to remarry you because he knows you guys love each other. He said you were the only one he would trust to take care of us."

Hyde cleared his throat. "He said that?"

Jimmy nodded. "Yeah. Look…thanks for helping out. I'm really going to try to be nicer. I guess I'm just scared about my Dad…ya know…dy-"

"I know Jimmy. You don't have to say it." Hyde said.

Jimmy smiled weakly. "Right well…anyway…"

Hyde patted his back. "Look Jimmy…I'm not here to replace your Dad…but I'm here if you want to talk to me. I know that at your age, sometimes it's easier to talk to a guy rather than your Mom. You can talk to me about anything. Alright?"

Jimmy nodded. "Thanks Uncle Hyde."

Hyde smiled. "No problem kid."

"Can we go eat now?" He asked.

Hyde chuckled. "Sure kid. Come on."

Hyde and Jimmy got up and went into the kitchen. Abby and Jackie were setting the table and Jimmy walked past his Mom and she ruffled his hair as he went by. Jimmy helped Abby carry the plates and Jackie and Hyde started to serve the food.

"Is everything ok with you two?" Jackie asked.

Hyde nodded. "Yeah. Everything's fine."

Jackie smiled. "Good."

Hyde smiled back. "Yeah. Good."

Jackie looked down at the food and then back at Hyde. "Hey Steven?"

He looked over at her again. "Yeah Jacks?"

"I know I've said it a lot lately…but…thank you." She said honestly staring him directly in the eyes.

Hyde smiled and leaned forward to kiss the top of her head. "Anything for you doll."

* * *

**Ok you know what to do! REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW! :) Upnext- a closer look at Christian's time in Afghanistan and how his relationship with Jackie is holding up. Plus...Hyde reveals to Jackie why he's never been able to be in another relationship.  
**


	3. This Is The Deep And Dying Breath

**Hey guys! Here is the next chapter! Sorry its been taking so long for updates. I've just been really busy. But this chapter has a lot in it and its all unexpected. But I hope you like it! :) Read and REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW! **

* * *

Three months later, Christian was lying on his back on his cot in the tent that his troop was assigned. In his hand he was holding the picture that Abby had painted of the two of them. He smiled and traced the tiny form that was Abby. He was waiting for phone privileges so he could call home and tell Abby how much he loved the picture. The tent flap flew open and in walked one of his friends Lindsay Schmidt. She smiled at him and plopped down on his cot with him.

"Hey Christian." She said.

Christian nodded. "What's up?"

"Nothing. The ladies were pretty boring over in our tent. Thought I'd come see you." She said smiling seductively at him.

He noticed the look but looked back at the picture. "Whatever."

"Cute picture. Your daughter paint it?" She asked.

"Yup. Abby painted it." He said.

She laughed. "You know one of these days it would be better if you spoke more than a few words. You've been so soft spoken lately."

He sighed. "Look Lindsay…I'm just kind of missing my family right now."

She sighed. "You're here. There not…so…"

Christian looked over at her. "What the hell are you saying?"

"No one ever finds out…" She said.

Christian jumped up. "Lindsay get out."

She sighed and stood up. "Look Christian I-"

Suddenly there was a loud bang and everything seemed to shake. Lindsay and Christian jumped to the ground and Christian grabbed his gun and Lindsay grabbed a gun from the bed beside Christian's. They ran out of the tent and saw their troop scattered around shooting at a target off in the distance. A few men and women were down but they knew they couldn't stop to see who was alive and who wasn't. Christian and Lindsay ran to hide behind a brick wall and started firing at the target.

"Son of a bitch!" Christian yelled as a bullet grazed his shoulder.

"Duck!" Lindsay yelled as a giant bomb flew in their direction.

Christian threw himself on top of Lindsay to shield her from bits of rock and debris that were flying around. He could feel the warmth of the fire close by and he looked to see limbs of friends and enemies in front of him. His mind was racing and he looked down and saw that Lindsay had been hit in the face with pieces of rock from the wall.

"Christian…" She whispered.

"Fuck. Lindsay stay with me…" He said.

"Is it bad?" She asked.

Christian looked at the blood pouring off of her face. "No. You're fine."

She smiled. "But you still don't want me right?"

He chuckled. "You're not really my type…"

She groaned. "Fuck. If it isn't bad…why does it hurt so much?"

Christian looked at her and then out at the field and saw the firing was continuing. "Lindsay I need to get you out of here."

She groaned as he picked her up. "Ow…Christian it hurts."

"You're alright." He said running her towards the jeep by the gate. "Keep your eyes open alright?"

She looked over to the tent. "Christian...is that Nathan?"

He looked over and saw his bunk mate Nathan Cromwell lying on the ground and he saw that one of his legs was blown off. "Fuck."

"Christian you have to help him." She said.

He placed Lindsay down in the jeep and ran over to Nathan. He was screaming at the top of his lungs and his hands were gripping right above his knee cap where he had been hit.

"Nathan. Nathan you're going to be alright." He said.

"My leg! My leg! They took my leg!" He screamed.

Christian's heart was racing. "You're ok. I got you man."

"They fucking took my god damn leg!" He screamed.

"We gotta get out of here right now alright?" Christian said. "Hold onto my neck." He said.

Christian picked him up and Nathan wrapped his arms around his neck as he continued to scream. Christian placed him next to Lindsay in the jeep. He shut the door and had to jump under the car as another bomb came flying by. It hit his tent and he knew all his stuff was gone. He cursed and jumped up, throwing the driver's door open and he flew out of the camp as fast as he could. He knew there were more men and women from his troop but he couldn't stop now. He had to get them all out of there or the three of them would be dead…

* * *

Back in Point Place, things were insane. Jimmy had a million activities at once and Abby was a little handful, constantly needing attention. Jackie was driving kids here and there and constantly worrying about Christian because his phone calls and letter's had become less frequent. The gang tried their best to help her in anyway they could and Hyde was constantly around. One Saturday afternoon, Jackie was getting Jimmy ready for football while Hyde helped keep Abby busy.

"Mom did Dad call yet?" He asked.

Jackie sighed as she helped him find all his gear. "No. Not this week sweetie."

"Is he ok?" He asked.

"Yes honey. Of course he's fine." She said.

"How do you know?" He asked sitting down on the side of his bed.

Jackie looked over at her son and saw the sad look on his face. She walked over to him and sat down next to him. "Jimmy I know you are worried. But I know that your Dad is just fine. If anything had happened, we would have gotten a call."

He nodded. "I guess you're right. I just like talking to him on the phone."

Jackie pushed some hair out of his face. "I know."

He sighed. "Will Daddy be the same when he comes home?"

Jackie sighed and pulled Jimmy closer to her. "Jimmy you're Dad is witnessing a lot of horrible things at War. When he first gets home, he probably will be different at first. But it won't change how he feels about you."

He nodded. "Ok."

She smiled and kissed the side of his face. "Come on buddy. You don't want to be late."

Downstairs, Hyde and Abby were playing with her Barbie's. Abby was setting up her dream house and Hyde was just watching her.

"Daddy used to play Barbie's with me." Abby said.

Hyde smiled. "I'm sure he did."

"He used to set up the house for me so I could dress up my dolls. My Daddy's the best." She said.

Hyde nodded. "That he is."

"When does he come home?" She asked.

Hyde sighed. "A few more months Abby."

She pouted. "Why did Daddy have to go away?"

Hyde wasn't sure how to start this conversation. "Abby…do you remember when your Mommy told you about September eleventh?"

"Mommy said that bad people flew a plane into those big towers in New York." She said.

Hyde nodded. "That's right. And your Daddy went away to try and stop those bad people form doing something like that again."

"Is Daddy in danger?" She asked.

This was an even harder question. "Abby come here…"

Abby walked over to Hyde and sat down on his lap as Hyde wrapped his arms around her. "He is, isn't he?"

Hyde sighed. "Abby your Daddy is one tough guy. He's a great guy and I know that he is going to come home as soon as he can. Want to know why?"

"Why?" She said with little tears in her eyes.

"Because…he can't wait to see Jimmy and your Mommy…and you know who else?" He asked.

She looked down. "Who?"

"You." Hyde said lifting her chin up to look at her.

Abby smiled. "Yeah?"

Hyde nodded. "Yeah. He can't wait to see his little Abba."

Jackie walked downstairs with Jimmy who grabbed the rest of his stuff. "Hey you two. You ready to go for a ride?"

Abby smiled and ran over to her Mom. "Yeah!"

"Steven, did you want to come or do you want to go home and get something's done. I can handle the kids." She said.

"But I want Uncle Hyde to come to the park with us!" Abby said pouting.

Jackie sighed. "Well sweetie Uncle Hyde has his own things to take care of."

"But he's always here!" She said getting angry.

"I know that. And we are very grateful for that. But Uncle Hyde does has his own life sweetie." Jackie said brushing her hair out of her face.

Abby ran back over to Hyde and pulled on his arm. "Please come to the park with us Uncle Hyde."

Hyde kneeled down to be face to face with her. "How about this Abby, I'll run home and get something's done. And then I'll meet you and your Mom at the park later?"

Abby leaned in and rested her forehead against his. "Promise?"

Hyde nodded. "Pinky promise."

Abby smiled and kissed Hyde and then ran to catch up with Jimmy who was already out in the driveway. Jackie sighed and grabbed her coat and keys and turned to Hyde.

"Steven you must have a million things you have to do! I love that you are helping me out so much but I can't ask you to give up your own personal life for us." She said honestly.

Hyde smiled and walked over to her and put a hand on her arm. "Jackie I would do anything for you and the kids. You know that. I just have to run home and do some laundry and do the dishes. Then I'll come to the park with you guys."

"What about your job? You have barely worked since Christian left." She said.

"It's my store Jackie. I can come and go as I please. I still get paid." He said.

She looked down. "I know…but I just feel bad. I feel guilty that you are acting like their father. I mean…I left you for Christian and sometimes it just feels like I'm using you."

Hyde stared at her for a moment. "Why would you feel that way? I let you go Jackie. You found a better guy."

"But…it's all so twisted don't you think?" She asked. "I mean I'm married to another man and yet here you are…acting like their father."

"Does it bother you?" He asked.

Jackie shook her head. "No! That's not what I meant. I just…I feel bad. I feel like I ruined your life. Like I ruined your chances of being happy…of finding your own family."

"Jackie I-" But Hyde was cut off by Jimmy honking on the horn.

"Crap. Jimmy's going to be so late." Jackie said.

Hyde nodded. "Go."

Jackie looked up at him. "But-"

"Jackie just go…we'll talk more at the park alright?" He assured her, pushing her towards the door as they both left.

"Ok…" She said locking the door.

"But Jackie?" He asked.

She turned to look at him with a sad look. "Yes?"

"You didn't ruin my life. You could never have ruined my life. Meeting you was the one thing that kept me going. And it always will be." He said leaning in to kiss her cheek before running off to his car.

Jackie blew the hair out of her face and sighed. "What am I going to do?"

* * *

Hyde pulled up in front of his house and got out to find Eric sitting on his front step. He knew why he was there and he wasn't really in the mood to have that conversation with him. He sighed and walked up to him.

"Hey Foreman. What brings you to my humble abode?" He asked.

"Well I was just about to leave to tell you the truth. Every time I've come by since Christian left you weren't here. And you weren't at the store. So I'm assuming the only other place you would be, would be Jackie's place." He said.

Hyde sighed. "Just say it Foreman."

Eric shook his head and stood up in front of Hyde. "She's married man."

"No! Really? I wasn't aware of that! I mean…I was the best man but I just figured it was a skit or something. Not real." Hyde said rudely.

Eric smirked. "What are you doing?"

"What do you mean what am I doing? Jackie's in a tough spot right now Eric. She needs help. That's what I'm there for. She's my best friend." He said.

"Yeah. And your ex-girlfriend. The one girl you can't move on from." He said.

"What are you talking about? I've moved on Foreman." He said.

"If you call meaningless week relationships and one night stands moving on…than your one sad man." Eric said.

"I'm sorry but when did my personal life become your business?" Hyde asked.

"Christian is a good guy." Eric said.

"I'm aware of this thank you." He said. "Anything else?"

"He's fight a war right now. The last thing he needs to worry about is his wife getting hit on by his supposed best friend." Eric said.

"I'm not hitting on her Foreman! I'm helping her out! Jesus Christ!" Hyde yelled. "I'm not that kind of guy. I mean do you know how hard it has been to watch her be happy with him? Do you? I mean you have Donna and you guys are so disgustingly happy with your three children. You've never had your heart broken like that. But I love Jackie so much that I would never interfere with her relationship with Christian. I would die alone if I knew that she was happy with the man she was with. And I know she is happy with him. I know she loves him. And yes that kills me…but I've accepted it. And I will continue to accept it. And if you have a fucking problem with it, then that is your problem. Not mine. Now if you will excuse me I have something's to do before I meet Jackie and Abby at the park. Abby asked me to come if you wanted to know. I didn't push myself on them…" Hyde said angrily.

Eric sighed and backed off. "Alright…I just hope you know what you are doing."

Hyde glared at him as he started to walk away. "I do."

Eric nodded. "Fine. Tell Abby and Jackie I said hi then."

Hyde nodded. "Whatever."

After Eric left, Hyde went inside and went to his kitchen. He pulled out a soda and started to drink it. He looked on his fridge and saw the picture he had put their years ago. It was of him and Jackie when they were dating. It was his birthday. She was sitting on his lap in the Foreman's living room and she was staring at him lovingly. He missed that look. He saw that look on her face still. But only when she was looking at Christian. Hyde sighed and took the picture down and opened a drawer and threw it in there. It was filled with all the other things that reminded him of his relationship with Jackie. He sighed and got set to do the chores he had to do before meeting Jackie and Abby.

* * *

An hour later, Jackie was pushing Abby on the swings. Hyde pulled up to the parking lot and watched Jackie and Abby play. He smiled at them. They were adorable. That much was true. He just wished they were his. He sighed and walked over to them and Abby's face brightened.

"Uncle Hyde! You came!" She said jumping off the swing and into his arms.

Hyde chuckled and caught her even though he wasn't prepared. "Whoa! Well of course I came. I pinky promised, didn't I?" He asked.

She giggled. "Sure did."

Hyde smiled and kissed her cheek. "Are you and Mommy having fun?"

Abby nodded. "Yes! Mommy pushed me so high!"

"I saw that!" Hyde said. "You were flying!"

She giggled. "Just like Daddy in the planes."

Hyde swallowed hard and looked at Jackie who had tears in her eyes. "Yes. Just like Daddy when he's in the planes."

She smiled. "Can I go play with my friends?"

Hyde looked over at Jackie who just nodded. "Sure kiddo. Be careful."

She jumped down and ran off towards the Big Toy where her friends were. Hyde walked over to Jackie who was biting her nail and her eyes were red and puffy.

"You alright?" He asked rubbing her shoulder.

She nodded. "Yeah."

"Are you sure?" He asked leaning down to get a better look at her.

She sighed. "Yes. I'm fine. Can we sit down on the bench?"

Hyde stared at her for a moment and he could tell she had something to say. "Sure."

They walked over and sat down together. Jackie was fidgeting with her rings and she wouldn't meet his eyes. Hyde was silent, letting her figure out what it was the she needed to say. He moved a little so that their legs were touching.

Jackie sighed. "I just I'm still thinking about our conversation back at my house. No matter what you say Steven, I do feel guilty."

Hyde shook his head. "Jackie you shouldn't."

"But you go home each night all alone." She said. "And I have Christian and the kids. And I know why you aren't with anyone else…I just feel so horrible all the time about it. I want you to be happy."

"I am happy." He said.

"Steven you would me an amazing father." She said. "An amazing husband…" She sighed and looked down again. "Why can't you just find another woman? One who isn't married?" She asked.

Hyde sighed. "Jackie…I'm not going to lie. Yes it is hard to see you so happy with Christian and the kids. And yes I do wish that I hadn't been such an idiot all those years ago. I wish I hadn't married Sam and I wish that you were my wife…that Jimmy and Abby were my kids. But that isn't my life Jackie. You are married to Christian and I think he is a great guy. I think that he treats you wonderfully and you deserve to be as happy as you are. I love you Jackie. And I always will. But I would never jeopardize your marriage." He said honestly.

Jackie's eyes welled up with tears. "Haven't you tried to move on?"

"Yes I have Jackie. But I can't help the way I feel about you." He said.

She shook her head. "But…but I just think that if you-"

"Jackie…are you angry at me?" He asked.

Jackie reached for his hand. "No! No not at all." She sighed. "God this is all coming out wrong."

"What do you want to say?" He asked.

"I just…I hate to see you like this. I want you to be with someone. To be happy!" She yelled.

Hyde shook his head. "Jackie I told you I was happy! Why are you doing this?"

"Steven I'm not trying to upset you. I'm not. You have no idea how much I appreciate everything you've done for me and the kids. I would have fallen apart a long time ago if I didn't have you to help us out. And I love having you around. You're my best friend…I just…I can't…I…"

"Jackie you're scaring me." Hyde said.

Jackie bit her lip. "Steven the thing is I-" But then her cell phone rang, she sighed and took it out. "Oh. It's Christian."

Hyde cleared his throat. "You should…"

Jackie nodded and stood up and braced herself as she answered her phone. "Hey baby!" She said fighting back her tears.

_"Jackie…" He whispered.  
_  
Jackie's heart started to race. "Christian? Christian are you alright?"

_There were still bombs going off around Christian as he sat in the hospital waiting for Nathan and Lindsay to get out. "I'm…I'm fine."_

"Christian what is all that noise?" She asked.

_"It's…its nothing Jackie. I just…I'm at the hospital with my friends." He said._

"Oh God." She said. "What happened?"

_"Our compound got attacked." He said. "Lindsay and Nathan got hit."_

"Are they alright? Are you sure you didn't get hit?" Jackie asked frantically.

"_I have a few cuts and bruises. But I'm fine. I promise." He said._

"Are you sure? Christian…I just…God honey I can't believe this." She said.

"_I'm alright. I just…I needed to hear your voice." He said. "I needed to feel like I was close to you again."_

Jackie bit her lip and looked at Hyde out of the corner of her eye; he was still on the bench. "I'm here baby. Were here waiting for you to come home."

_Christian sighed. "I know. I miss you guys so much. I love you."_

Jackie had to turn away from Hyde and she closed her eyes tightly. "I love you too."

_"The doctors are coming to talk to me about Nathan and Lindsay. I need to go." He said._

Jackie sighed. "Yes. Ok. Well I'll let you go." She said. "Stay safe!"

_"I will give the kids a kiss for me. Tell them I love them." He said. _

"I will." She said. "Bye Christian."

_"Bye Jackie. I love you." He said hanging up._

Jackie sighed and shut her phone. "Bye…"

Hyde got up and walked over to her. "Everything ok?"

Jackie looked up at him and wiped her tears away. "Yeah. Um…he's at the hospital. I guess his compound was attacked and he was with a few of his friends that were injured." She said.

Hyde nodded. "But he's ok?"

Jackie smiled weakly. "That's what he said.

"Right well you would have gotten a call straight from the army if he wasn't." He said.

Jackie sighed. "Yeah. You're right."

Hyde put a hand on her shoulder. "Jackie…he's going to be alright."

Jackie nodded her head. "I know! I know!"

"Jackie what's going on? I mean I know that this is hard for you. But you're acting crazy." He said.

Jackie shook her head. "Nothing. I'm just so fucking confused."

"About what?" He asked. "What's going on?"

"Steven I can't…" She said looking up at him.

"Jackie I'm your best friend. You can tell me anything." He pleaded with her.

She laughed. "Honestly…there are something's that I can't tell you."

"What do you mean?" He asked.

"Steven I can't do this right now. I have enough on my plate with Christian at War and my kids falling apart. I can't talk to you about this." Jackie said.

"I don't even know what we are talking about!" Hyde yelled.

Jackie sighed. "Steven…I think that you should worry about yourself for awhile. I think I can manage with the kids."

Hyde was dumfounded he had no idea what was going on. "Jackie now I'm totally lost."

"Please. Just…I need sometime." She said.

"Sometime for what?" He asked. "What the hell is going on with you? You were just saying how much you appreciate me helping out."

"I do! I do appreciate it Steven! But it just makes everything so complicated." She said.

"Why? Why is it complicated? You are in love with Christian. I accept that. I know that. What is going on?" He asked.

Jackie sighed and looked over at Abby. "I just need sometime alone with my kids."

Hyde looked at her for a moment. "I really wish you would just talk to me."

Jackie looked back at him. "Steven…"

He sighed. "Fine. But will you talk to me when you're ready?"

Jackie nodded. "Yes. I promise."

Hyde stared at her for a moment. "Call me if you need anything. If the kids anything…"

Jackie wrapped her arms around herself. "I will."

He nodded and started to walk towards his car. "Bye."

"Steven!" Jackie yelled.

He turned to look at her. "Yes?"

"Thank you." She whispered. "For everything…I don't want you to think I hate you. Or that I don't appreciate it. I do." She paused and looked down. "I just…there are things that I need to accept for myself before I can talk about them with you."

Hyde nodded. "I know. I just wish you could talk to me now."

Jackie nodded. "Me too…"

Hyde smiled and go tin his car and drove away.

* * *

That night, Jackie called Donna and begged her to come over after the kids were all asleep. They were sitting on the couch and Donna was just staring at her, waiting for her to talk.

"What's going on with you Jackie?" Donna asked.

Jackie sighed. "There is something I never told anyone…actually there are a few things."

"What kind of things?" Donna asked.

Jackie sighed and put her head in her hands. "God I hate myself."

Donna rubbed her back. "Jackie what is going on? You're really freaking me out."

"When Steven and I were together…and I left for Chicago." She paused. "I was pregnant."

Donna stopped rubbing her back. "What?"

Jackie lifted her head to look at Donna. "I was pregnant Donna. I didn't know when I first left…but after Steven ran off I started puking. And I couldn't stop…so I went to the hospital and they confirmed it. I went home to tell him…and…and then…"

"And then Sam showed up." Donna said.

Jackie nodded through her tears. "Yes."

"But…you stayed around. I don't understand how-" She started to say.

"I had an abortion Donna." She whispered.

Donna looked down. "Oh Jackie…"

"I didn't know what else to do! I thought that if I told Steven he would just think it was some sort of ploy to get him back. And I didn't want to raise the baby on my own. I was so scared. God I just wanted to crawl under a rock and die. But I knew what I had to do…and afterwards I regretted it. God I regretted it." She whispered.

Donna swallowed hard. "God Jackie why didn't you tell anyone?"

"I was so ashamed." She whispered. "I thought Steven would hate me for doing it. But I didn't know what else to do."

"He was married Jackie. He was different then." She said.

"It doesn't matter! I didn't give our child a chance! What if I had had that kid? Our lives would have been different!" She said.

"Yes but then you never would have met Christian. And you never would have had Abby and Jimmy. You love them." Donna said.

Jackie nodded. "Jimmy and Abby are my world."

"What about Christian?" Donna asked squinting her eyes at her.

Jackie sighed. "He's a wonderful man Donna. He really is…"

"Jackie…what are you saying." Donna whispered.

"I still love Steven, Donna." She admitted.

"Well I know that." Donna said. "Of course you love Hyde. He's your best friend."

Jackie shook her head. "No. I love him."

Donna's eyes widened. "Jackie…you're married to Christian."

"And I love Christian. I really do. He has been the perfect husband. He's never done anything wrong to me…or to the kids." She paused. "But I married him to try and forget Steven. To try and forget what I did to our unborn child."

"Oh Jackie…" Donna said.

"I tried to forget. But I couldn't…I love Steven more than I ever did before. He's been so good to me. To us. To my family. He's a saint for what he's done. He should have moved on. He should have found another woman. But he didn't…he just he's been by my side. Always." Jackie broke down in tears. "God I'm a horrible woman."

Donna pulled her closer. "No you aren't. You are wonderful wife and mother Jackie. You are a wonderful person."

Jackie covered her face. "I don't know what to do. I was with Steven today and I wanted nothing more than to kiss him. To tell him I loved him and that I was sorry. To tell him about what I did to our child…but I couldn't. I'm married to Christian. What did I do?"

Donna rubbed her back more. "Jackie everything is going to be alright."

"How can it be?" Jackie asked. "Christian is at War. What am I supposed to do Donna? Am I supposed to just tell Steven and then when Christian comes home completely crush him? He's seen so much out there and to leave him now would break him. He would kill himself." Jackie said.

Donna shook her head. "Christian loves you. He'll understand. Hyde too."

Jackie shook her head. "No. No I'll ruin everything."

Donna was shocked by everything Jackie had told her. "Jackie it's not going to be easy but were going to figure it out."

"How can I love to men at once?" She asked.

"It happens Jackie." She said.

"My children will hate me." Jackie said.

Donna shook her head. "They could never hate you Jackie. They love you no matter what."

Jackie looked up at her. "I just don't know what to do. I don't know what to do!"

Donna pulled Jackie closer again and held her as she cried. "It's going to be alright. I promise everything will be alright…"

* * *

**So...what did you think? Intense right? Let me know! REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW! I'll try and update soon! I just updated Since I've Been Loving You too so check that out and REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW them both! Thanks! :)  
**


	4. This Love That We've Been Working On

**Ok so this was a very emotional chapter for me to write. If you read the last chapter you know that this is going to be rough for Jackie. But will she make a bad decision regarding Hyde again? Read and find out what happens. Then REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW! :) **

* * *

Two weeks later, Hyde had barely been at the house because he was respecting Jackie's need for space. He called around to the gang everyday to make sure that they were doing ok. It was hard to keep his distance but he had a feeling Jackie had a good reason for why she had asked him to stay away. He was at work one afternoon when Kelso came in.

"Hey Hyde." Kelso said walking up to him.

Hyde looked up at him and smiled. "Oh hey man. What's up?"

"Oh I was just at Jackie's. Figured you would want to know how she was doing." He said.

That caught Hyde's attention. "What? Is she ok?"

Kelso nodded. "Uh yeah she's fine."

"That's not so convincing." Hyde said walking around the counter.

Kelso sighed. "I mean she's ok I guess. She's just stressed. Abby and Jimmy were running all over the place and the house was a mess."

Hyde took his sunglasses off and put them on the counter. "I don't know why she is pushing me away."

"It must be something important." Kelso said. "What do you think she's hiding?"

"Honestly, I have no idea." Hyde said. "I just wish she would tell someone about whatever it is."

"She's been talking to Donna a lot. Maybe she told her." Kelso said.

"Yeah but I can't call Donna and have her tell me. It's Jackie's business." Hyde said.

Kelso nodded. "Yeah I guess you're right. I'm sure Jackie will talk to you when she's ready."

Hyde nodded. "I hope so. I mean she's my best friend-"

"She's more than that." Kelso said laughing.

"Kelso…just…don't." Hyde said.

Kelso bowed his head. "Sorry."

Hyde rubbed his eyes. "I mean do you think it's easy for me? I hate that I still love her, but I can't help it."

"Hyde man I'm sorry. Forget I said anything." He said.

Hyde scoffed. "Trust me; you're not the only one that makes comments about it."

"Hyde it's just that we wish you would move on. She's married to Christian. And you could get married yourself." He said.

Hyde nodded. "I know ok? And I've tried to date but I just can't…Jackie's the only one that makes me happy."

"Maybe you aren't trying hard enough." Kelso said shrugging.

"Ok this conversation is over." Hyde said walking around the counter again.

"Are you mad at me?" Kelso asked.

Hyde looked up at him and then put his sunglasses on. "No. Don't you have a family to get back too?"

Kelso sighed. "I'm sorry Hyde. I didn't mean to upset you."

"Forget about it. It's fine." Hyde said pretending to do some work.

Kelso stared at his friend for a moment. "You're a great guy Hyde. You've always been there for Jackie and I know she appreciates that. Don't give up on her."

Hyde sighed and looked up Kelso. "Yeah. I won't."

* * *

Meanwhile…at Jackie's house, things were falling apart. There were toys and cloths all over the place and Jimmy and Abby were screaming at each other. Jackie was trying to cook dinner while she was talking to the cell phone company on the phone.

"Yes I understand that sir. But by husband is in Afghanistan. There are a lot of long distance calls." Jackie said.

"Stop hitting me!" Jimmy yelled.

"You broke my Barbie dream house!" She yelled.

Jimmy pushed her. "Well you shouldn't have left it at the bottom of the stairs!"

"Don't push me!" She said kicking him.

"Can't you help me out with the expenses? Money is really tight right now since I can't really work and I-" She said.

"OWWWW!" Abby screamed.

"Abby! Jimmy! Go to your rooms right now!" Jackie yelled. "No sir I'm sorry my kids were fighting."

"Mom! Abby is pinching me!" Jimmy yelled.

"Jimmy stop. No sir I didn't mean to yell in your ear. I'm sorry I just-"

"I hate you!" Abby yelled. "Don't touch me!"

"Abby apologize!" Jackie yelled. "Crap sir I'm so sorry!" Jackie said to the man on the phone.

"You're such a little brat." Jimmy said shoving her again.

"Jimmy! No!" Jackie said pulling them apart.

"Mom! Why do you always take her side?" He whined.

"Because I'm the baby!" Abby said stomping her foot.

"Both of you get up to your rooms right now!" Jackie yelled.

"But Mom!" They both yelled.

"No! No more whining! I'm sick of this! Both of you go straight to your rooms and don't come out until I say so!" She yelled.

Jimmy and Abby glared and Jackie and then ran up to their rooms. Jackie took a deep breath and then realized she was still on the phone.

"Sir I am so sorry about that." Jackie said. "But…no you can't hang up. I'm telling you I can't pay this bill! Please don't hang up!" But it was too late; there was no one on the other end. "Shit…"

Jackie threw the phone across the room and collapsed on the floor of the kitchen. She pulled her knees up to her chest and started crying. Her body was shaking and she felt so alone and cold. She got up and picked up the phone again and called Mrs. Foreman.

"Hello?" Kitty said.

"Mrs. Foreman?" Jackie said shakily.

"Jackie sweetie is that you?" Kitty asked nervously.

Jackie wiped her tears away. "Yes. It's me."

"Oh honey. Are you alright? What's wrong?" Kitty asked.

"I'm falling apart over here. The kids are fighting…the house is a mess. I can't pay my bills! I don't know what to do!" She yelled.

"Oh sweetie…I'll come over right now." Kitty said.

"Mrs. Foreman I'm so scared." She whispered.

"Hold on honey. I'm coming." Kitty said hanging up the phone.

Jackie sat at the table and put her head in her hands and cried. She had never in her life felt this horrible. For so long she had tried to forget about what she had done to her baby with Hyde. God knew how much she loved Hyde but she had screwed it all up. She loved Christian and her children, she did. That much was true. But she couldn't forget how much she loved Hyde. He was and always would be the one for her but now she was in too deep. There was no way out. She couldn't do that to Christian and the kids after everything they had done for her. She had to put on a smile and pretend that everything was ok. Btu she also had to tell Hyde the truth. He deserved that much.

The door opened and Kitty stepped in. "Oh Jackie…"

Jackie lifted her head. "Mrs. Foreman…"

"Sweetie come here…" Kitty said opening her arms to her.

Jackie stood up and went straight to Kitty. Kitty hugged her tightly as she cried. "Everything is falling apart…"

"I know you miss Christian. But he'll be home before you know it." Kitty said.

"There's so much more than that…" Jackie said.

Kitty pulled her away so she could look at her. "Honey what are you talking about?"

"I need to go talk to Steven." Jackie said.

Kitty looked at her. "Honey what is gong on?"

Jackie shook her head. "I need to talk to Steven. Will you watch the kids for me? Please?"

"Of course. Go. Go do what you have to do Jackie." Kitty said.

* * *

Jackie grabbed her coat and keys and ran out the door to her car. She drove as fast as she could to Hyde's house thinking about what she could possibly say so he wouldn't hate her. But she figured that wasn't an option. He had every right to be angry when he found out what she was hiding. But she couldn't bare the thought of not having him as a friend, especially now when she was falling apart. She pulled into his driveway just as it started to rain. She sat in her car for awhile, trying to figure out what to do. Finally after fifteen minutes of sitting there, she got out of the car and walked in the rain up to the front door. She knocked gently and waited. The door opened and Hyde stood there in a pair of jeans and her favorite band T-shirt.

"Jackie…" He whispered. "Come on in here. It's raining."

Jackie walked in. "Thanks."

Hyde shut the door behind her and looked at her for a moment. "What are you doing here?"

"Is now a bad time?" Jackie asked looking around.

Hyde shook his head. "No. It's fine. What's going on?"

"I need to talk to you." She said not meeting his eyes.

"Ok. Well why don't I get you a towel and some dry cloths. I don't want you to get sick." He said walking upstairs.

Jackie stood in Hyde's mud room and looked around. He had a cute little house, unlike anything she had every expected to see him living in. But over the years she learned there was much more to Hyde than she had ever known. She sighed and rubbed her eyes as Hyde came back down and handed her some sweat pants and a towel.

"You can change in the bathroom. Just throw the wet stuff into the dryer." He said.

Jackie smiled weakly. "Thanks."

"You want some coffee?" He asked.

Jackie nodded. "That would be great. Thanks."

He winked at her. "No problem."

Jackie walked into the bathroom and changed into his cloths. She brought the shirt up to her nose and smelled it, breathing in that Steven Hyde smell that she had missed so much over the years. She looked at herself in the mirror and braced herself for what she knew would be the hardest conversation she would ever have. She knew that it could possibly change absolutely everything.

"Please don't hate me Steven…" She whispered.

She opened the door and walked into Hyde's living room where he was waiting with their coffee. He smiled at her as she sat down on the couch across from him.

"Better?" He asked.

Jackie nodded slowly. "Yes. Thank you."

He handed her, her coffee. "So…how have you been? How are the kids?"

Jackie took a sip of her coffee. "They are a handful."

He chuckled. "I bet."

"How have you been?" She whispered.

"Oh ya know…I'm fine." He said smiling. "I've been worrying about you mostly."

Jackie closed her eyes. "Don't do tat…"

"Don't do what?" He asked. "It's the truth."

"Yes but when you act sweet like that it makes this even harder for me." She said.

Hyde fidgeted in his seat. "Jackie what the hell is going on? Is this about what happened at the park?"

"Steven…" She whispered. "There is something I need to tell you…"

Hyde looked deep in her eyes for a moment. "What is it?"

She met his eyes for a moment and then looked away. "God this is so hard…"

"Jackie you can tell me anything. What is going on with you?" He begged her.

"Steven it isn't that easy to just come out and say this." She whispered.

"Why not? How bad could it possibly be?" He asked.

"It's pretty bad." Jackie said.

"Jackie are you in some sort of trouble?" He asked. "Financially or something? Because I'll help you."

"No that's not what this is about." She shook her head. "Although now that you mention it-" She paused. "No! No I can't ask you for anymore help!"

Hyde sighed. "Why not? Were friends Jackie. You know I would do anything for you."

Jackie sighed and stood up. "I know! And that is part of the problem! That's what's making this so damn hard for me!"

Hyde shook his head. "Jackie what the fuck is going on? We keep going in circles here! Just tell me!"

Jackie sighed and wrapped her arms around herself. "I have a big secret Steven. A big secret that involves you."

Hyde stood up. "What are you talking about?" He said walking towards her.

"No…no I think you need to sit down for this." She said walking him back towards the couch.

Hyde sat down next to her and took her hand. "Ok. What is it?"

Jackie took a deep breath. "I need you to promise you won't interrupt me so I can tell you everything before you respond."

Hyde's heart was beating hard and fast. "Ok…"

"You promise?" She asked.

"I promise." He said fidgeting in his seat.

Jackie took a deep breath. "Ok…Steven when you left the hotel room in Chicago…I got very sick. I started puking non stop so I went to the hospital. They told me I was pregnant…"

Hyde's eyes widened. "What?"

Jackie put a hand on his leg. "Please…just let me finish or I'll loose my nerve." She could see Hyde was breathing harder now and she was terrified. "I was so shocked. I was scared and confused. So I went back to Point Place to talk to you but you were gone. I waited for you to come back…and then…and then Sam showed up." She whispered.

"Jackie…" He said bowing his head.

"Steven I thought if I told you then you would think I was just trying to get you to divorce her and come back to me. That's not what I wanted. I wanted you to come to me if it was what you wanted. But you didn't…you said you were going to stay with her. God I was heartbroken Steven and I was so scared to go through the pregnancy alone. So I…" She started to cry. "So I…" She covered her face. "I had an abortion…"

Hyde pulled his hand back. "Jesus Christ Jackie…"

She moved her hands away to look at his face. "Steven I'm so sorry!"

"I can't believe this! I mean I had a child and I never knew about it! And you took it in your own hands and made that decision on your own? What about me Jackie? What if I wanted that child?" He asked.

"I'm so sorry." She said through her tears. "I was just so alone. I thought you didn't love me anymore."

"You should have told me." He said. "God damn it!"

"Steven please…you have to understand how scared I was. I didn't know what to do. When I did it…I was so mad at myself. I regretted it. I've always regretted it. Steven if I could take it back I would. You have to believe me!" She pleaded with him.

Hyde stood up and walked back and forth in his living room. "I had a child…I had…Jesus Christ."

"Steven…do you hate me?" She whispered.

Hyde turned to her. "That is so like you Jackie. You would worry about yourself!"

Jackie was taken aback. "Steven I know your hurt but-"

Hyde shook his head. "I'm sorry…I'm just so…I can't believe this."

"I'm so sorry. I hate myself for what I did. God Steven…please believe me when I say that if I could turn back time I would tell you. I would have that baby even if you didn't want to be with me!" She said standing up to walk over to him.

"You can't take it back now though Jackie. I know you are sorry…I do I just can't believe this right now. I'm shocked." He said.

Jackie nodded. "I know. I should have told you sooner. I just didn't know how too."

Hyde sighed and covered his face, feeling tears coming through. "All these years I've wished you were my wife. I wished that I could have children with you…but you were with Christian…"

She put her hand on his arm. "Steven you are my best friend in the whole world. I hate myself for hurting you."

He uncovered his face. "Do you know how much I love you? Do you?"

Jackie bit her lip and looked down feeling the tears coming again. "I do…"

"I would do anything for you Jackie. You know that…but right now I'm just so hurt." He said.

"What are you saying?" She asked searching his eyes.

"I need sometime to process this." He whispered.

Jackie swallowed hard. "Steven let me just…"

"Jackie I think you should leave. You need to get back to the kids." He said walking away.

Jackie shook her head. "No. I'm not leaving it like this!"

Hyde turned to look at her. "Jackie what do you want me to say?"

"Anything! Yell at me if you have too! Just don't shut me out! Not now! Not like this." She whispered.

Hyde sighed. "Jackie please don't do this…"

"It wasn't easy for me either Steven! But you told me you wanted to stay with Sam. I couldn't raise the baby on my own." She said.

"I understand that. But you didn't give me the chance." He said.

"So what are you saying? If I had told you, you would have left Sam?" She asked.

"Well yes." He said. "I would have."

"But you would have only left her because I was pregnant! I wanted you to be with me because you wanted to be with me not because you felt obligated." She said.

"Come on Jackie…you know I love you." He said.

She nodded. "Yes now I do. But then I didn't! What was I supposed to do? You always pushed me away! That was the worst day of my life Steven when I got that abortion. It was the most painful thing I have ever done."

"You didn't have to do it." He said shaking his head.

Jackie bowed her head. "God I don't know what to do."

"Jackie you're married to another man and you have two children. It's over. That's in the past. There is nothing you can do about it now." He said defeated.

Jackie wiped her tears away. "But I love you!"

Hyde stared at her for a moment. "I know you love me as a friend Jackie-"

"No. No Steven…no." She walked over to him and held his face in her hands. "I love you."

Hyde stared deep into her mismatched eyes and saw she was telling the truth. "Jackie…"

"I love you Steven. I love you so much. Please don't push me away like this. I know what I did was wrong. But I was so scared." She said crying even harder.

"Jackie what about Christian?" He asked closing his eyes.

Jackie whimpered. "He is a wonderful husband. I care about him. I do! I love him I think…but not the way I love you."

"So what now then?" He asked. "What do you want me to say Jackie? Christian is at fucking war and you are now telling me that you love me! What do you expect me to do!?" He yelled.

Jackie pulled away. "I don't know ok? I don't know! All I know is that I've been hiding this for so many years and I can't anymore."

Hyde shook his head. "No you can't do this Jackie. You don't mean this."

"Yes I do. I love you." She whispered.

"You just miss Christian. You don't want to be alone." He said walking away from her.

"Don't walk away from me! I love you Steven. Whether you believe me or not. I do!" She yelled at him.

Hyde crouched down on the floor and stared at his feet. "This isn't happening. This is some fucked up dream."

"Isn't this what you wanted?" Jackie asked. "Didn't you want me to come back to you someday?" She asked.

Hyde looked up at her from his spot on the floor. "Of course I did. But not like this. And I didn't think it would actually happen. I thought you loved Christian."

She nodded. "I do. I do…I just I married him because I was afraid of getting hurt. You hurt me so bad so many times Steven. I had to protect myself from you. So when Christian asked me to marry him…I said yes." She said.

"Why would you do that to yourself?" He asked standing up again.

Jackie sat back down on the couch. "I was so scared. So ashamed of what I did to our baby."

Hyde sighed and walked over to her and knelt down in front of her. "Jackie look at me."

Jackie lifted her head. "I'm so sorry…"

Hyde sighed. "You can't leave Christian."

Jackie closed her eyes. "I know! But I can't stay with him when I love you. It's not fair to him or to you or me."

Hyde nodded. "Jackie I hate to say this…but it's too late to turn back."

Jackie shook her head. "Don't say that."

Hyde sighed. "You are the most important person in my life. I love you more than anything in this world and that will never change. But what about your kids? You can't tell them that you are leaving Christian for me. Especially not Jimmy, he was worried about that anyway."

She nodded. "I know that. And I hate that I would have to break this to them but I can't be without you Steven. You are the one that I want to be with."

Hyde wanted nothing more than to kiss her. "Jackie stop…"

"I hate myself for what I've done! And I love my children and I love Christian. But you are the one that I want to be with! Please don't push me away!" She begged him.

Hyde sighed. "What about Christian? Jackie this isn't fair. He's done nothing but love you."

"That's all you've done too!" She said.

"Jackie it's not the same. You vowed for better or worse with him. Not me." He said.

"I shouldn't have." She whispered.

"You don't mean that. You love your children and if you hadn't married him then you wouldn't have those kids." He said.

Jackie bowed her head in shame. "I know. I hate myself for having those thoughts because I do love my children."

"Then you have to pretend like we never had this conversation." He whispered.

Jackie shook her head. "No. Don't say that. You don't mean that."

"Jackie you can't do this. This isn't right." He said. "Christian is at war. If he comes home and finds out that his wife is with his best friend after all these years…he will kill himself. Or me. He'll take the kids away from you."

Jackie sighed. "I know. But I can't help how I feel."

Hyde nodded. "I know that. And you don't know how hard this is for me to say no."

"Then don't say no." She begged "Tell me that you will be by my side no matter what and we'll figure this out together."

Hyde shook his head. "Don't ask me to be put in this situation."

"Steven tell me you love me." She said holding his face in her hands. "Please…"

Hyde shook his head. "Jackie go home."

"No." She said sternly.

Hyde stood up and backed away from her. "Jackie…go home."

Jackie stood up and faced him forcing him to look her in the eye. "Steven don't push me away. I know you want this too."

"This isn't right Jackie! Jesus Christ!" He yelled. "Stop doing this to me!"

Jackie looked down. "I know it's wrong. But what am I supposed to do?"

"You're supposed to just go home and pretend like we are still just friends." He said.

Jackie shook her head. "No!"

"Jackie go home!" He yelled walking away from her.

Jackie watched him walk away and her heart was pounding in her chest. She knew this was wrong but she needed him now more than ever. She ran over to him, turned him around and pressed him against the wall and put her lips over his. At first Hyde was going to push her away, but the feel of her lips on his again and her body pressed against him was too much. He moaned into her mouth and grasped her hips tightly.

"Oh God…" He moaned.

"I love you." She whispered as she began to suck on his neck. "I know this is wrong but I need you Steven. It's been to long."

Hyde closed his eyes as she nipped at his neck. "God I missed you…"

"I missed you too." She said pulling his face back to hers.

Hyde picked her up and wrapped her legs around his waist and turned them around to pin her against the wall. Hyde groaned when she pressed down on him.

"God I need you…" He hissed.

Jackie groaned. "Oh Steven…baby please…I can't wait anymore."

Hyde lifted her up and pulled her sweatpants down and undid his jeans as he rubbed his hardness against her. She threw her head back against the wall and moaned out loud letting all her inhibitions go. Hyde slipped into her slowly and they both moaned out loud at the contact after so long. Hyde rested his forehead against her chest and Jackie held his head to her and whispered his name over and over.

"Steven. Steven. Steven!" She moaned.

"Oh God…god Jackie. I love you so much. Fuck…oh God this is so good." He groaned.

Jackie knew neither of them would last long so she pulled at the curls on the base of his neck. "Oh Steven…baby I'm going to cum."

Hyde groaned as he felt her walls tighten around him. "Fuck…" He pulled out of her and came himself.

Hyde let her down and they stood staring at each other, trying to catch their breath and understand what had just happened. Hyde was afraid to look Jackie in the eye because he knew what they had just done was so wrong. So completely wrong. Jackie reached down and pulled her pants back up. Hyde did the same thing and then they went over to the couch and sat down.

"Steven?" Jackie whispered.

Hyde looked over at her. "What?"

"Do you regret it?" She asked.

Hyde put his head in his hands. "Don't ask me that."

"So you do?" She asked nervously.

"I don't know. I'm confused now. God this whole afternoon has been confusing." He said. "You come here and tell me about the child I almost had and that you loved me and not him. And then we have sex!"

Jackie started to cry. "I'm a horrible person. You must hate me."

Hyde looked up at her. "No I don't hate you. That's the worst part. And you aren't a horrible person. You are human."

"Steven what are we going to do?" She asked.

Hyde shook his head. "I don't know."

"What do you want to do?" She asked nervously.

Hyde sighed. "Jackie you know I want to be with you. I've always wanted to be with you. But this just can't happen."

Jackie bit her lip. "Btu it just did."

Hyde nodded. "I know. But I mean do you want a relationship Jackie? Do you know how complicated that would be?"

Jackie nodded. "I do. And I feel horrible for hurting Christian and my kids. But I can't hide my feelings anymore."

He nodded. "I know that. But I can't have you ruin your life."

"You wouldn't be ruining my life!" She yelled.

Hyde shook his head. "Jackie you don't know what you are getting yourself into."

Jackie bowed her head. "So you just want to forget that this happened? You want me to go home and live my life and try to pretend that I don't love you."

"Jackie do you know how hard this is for me too? You came here and dropped a bombshell on me! I shouldn't have let that just happen…but it did. And now you need to go home and hide this." He said.

"I'm tired of keeping secrets." Jackie said shaking her head.

"You can't tell Christian while he is in Afghanistan." Hyde said honestly. "That would be the end of him. It would distract him and he could get killed."

Jackie started to cry. "I know…God what did I do?"

"Jackie everything will be fine. Just go home and no one has to know that this happened." He said. "You have my word. I won't tell anyone."

"But I can't pretend it didn't happen." She whispered. "I can't."

Hyde stood up and picked her up off the couch and brought her to the door fighting his own tears. "Well you have too."

"Don't do this." She begged. "Please Steven. I know you love me."

"Jackie you need to leave." He begged her not looking her in the eye.

"Steven please…" She whispered holding onto his arm.

Hyde shook his head. "No. Just go Jackie. Just go now before we make another mistake."

Jackie bit her lip. "Do you still love me?"

Hyde looked at her and brushed her hair out of her face. "I will always love you."

She started to cry. "Then don't do this."

He started to cry and he didn't even try to hide it. "Jackie I have to do this. Please just go."

Jackie saw the sadness in his eyes and she knew that she had ruined everything now. She had broken his heart. She had ruined her marriage and she had betrayed everyone. She grabbed her keys from the table beside the door and ran out in the rain to her car not bothering to get her cloths. Hyde stood in the doorway and he watched her driveway as his chest rose and fell over and over. The tears were burning down his face but he couldn't stop them. He was confused, Jackie was confused but there was nothing they could do now. It was all ruined.

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**Ok...so what did you think? Let me know! REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW! :)  
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	5. Can't Seem To Hold You Like I Want To

**Ok here is the next chapter! I'm so sorry that its taken my so long to update! I've been sooooooooooooo busy! And I have been getting a lot of nasty reviews about the fact that the timing is off since I said Christian was in the Vietnam War too. And I'm well aware of that. I'm a straight A student thank you very much but this is just a story. It's not supposed to be perfect or whatever so if you don't like the story...don't review! Only positive feedback please and thank you! :) Thanks to all of you who have been reviewing kindly. I really appreciate it! Hope to hear from you on this!**

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Christian was lying down on his cot staring up at the ceiling. Everyone in his troop had called back home earlier but he didn't have the guts to do it. The truth was, ever since Lindsay had healed from her injuries he felt drawn to her. There were light touches, flirting and constant talking. He felt wrong about it, because of course he was a married man. But he couldn't help the way he felt about Lindsay…she just made him feel comfortable in this insane world. He sighed and walked down to the main station where the phone was and dialed a familiar number. Just not his house number.  
_  
"Hello?" He heard on the other end.  
_  
"Hyde…it's Christian." He said.

Hyde's breath caught in his throat. He hadn't talked to Jackie in over a month because of what had happened between them. He was wondering if Jackie had told Christian what had happened and that was why he was calling. He wasn't sure he could handle this conversation.

"Hyde?" Christian asked.

_"Uh sorry man…I was just surprised to hear from you." He said._

Christian cleared his throat. "Yeah. Um how are you?"  
_  
"I'm uh…I'm fine." Hyde said. "How are you?"_

Christian laughed sadly. "As good as a man at war could be I suppose."

_Hyde scoffed. "That's true."_

Christian took a deep breath. "So I don't have that much time to talk. But I guess I wanted to know how Jackie and the kids were doing. From your point of view."

_Hyde was silent for a moment, thinking about his answer. "Well…they are doing pretty well. I mean they miss you."_

Christian rubbed his eyes. "God I really miss them too."

_Hyde sighed. "I bet you do."_

Christian squeezed his eyes. "Hyde I need to talk to you about something."

_Hyde fidgeted with the phone cord. "Sure man. What's going on?"  
_

"Hyde…it may just be that I'm millions of miles away. But I'm developing feelings for someone else." He said.

_Hyde's heart dropped to the floor. "Christian…"_

"And I don't know if I should tell you this because I know that you are Jackie's best friend. Hell…I'm not stupid you guys are more than that. But honestly, I don't know what to do Hyde." He said.

"_What is it that you want me to say?" Hyde asked slowly._

Christian sighed. "I don't know. I guess I was hoping you would tell me I'm not a horrible guy and that is normal."

_Hyde chuckled. "You're not a horrible guy and that is normal."_

Christian laughed. "Gee thanks Hyde."

_Hyde sighed. "Look Christian…you're hundreds of miles away and you are going through some of the most traumatic moments of your life. I'm sure most people in your situation end up feeling for other people. This girl or whoever it is, is going through the same things as you are. She understands you like Jackie can't and you're lonely."_

Christian nodded. "Yeah I know…but I'm a married man."

"_Christian…Jackie knows that you love her and she loves you too." Hyde said nervously._

"So what are you saying? That I should be with Lin-this girl." He said quickly.

"_No. I'm not." _Hyde said.

_  
_"You love Jackie don't you Hyde?" Christian asked.

_Hyde wasn't sure what to say. "…"_

"Hyde?" Christian asked. "Are you still there?"

_"Yeah. I'm here." He said._

"You love Jackie don't you?" He asked again. "I mean I'm not stupid. You and Jackie have a long history and I know she still has feelings for you too."

_"Christian what are you getting at?" Hyde said uneasily._

"I love Jackie. But I don't want to hurt her." He said.

"_So what you want me to admit my feelings to her so that you two can break up and you can be with Lindsay and I'll be with Jackie? Is that what you want? Do you want her to hurt you before you can hurt her?" Hyde asked angrily._

"Hyde I don't want you to be mad at me." Christian said.

_"Well Christian this conversation isn't going well." Hyde said._

"I just want to know that if I did something…if I did something I wouldn't mean too…that Jackie would have someone." He said.

"_Honestly…this conversation isn't appropriate." Hyde said now extremely pissed off. _

"Hyde you've been great to me and my family and I appreciate that. We're friends; I don't want you to be mad at me." He said.

"_I slept with Jackie." Hyde said quickly._

Christian's face fell. "What?"

_"I slept with Jackie about a month ago. She was vulnerable and confused and she came to talk to me and it got out of hand." Hyde said, his heart beating quickly._

Christian squeezed his fist. "Was she upset that she had done it?"

_"Jesus! Of course she was! She's not a stone cold bitch." He said._

"I don't think I should be as surprised as I am." Christian said shaking his head.

"_What's that supposed to mean?" Hyde asked bitterly._

"It means that from the moment I met you I knew that Jackie wasn't over you. Whenever you walk into a room…her face brightens up and she seems more relaxed. I know she loves you. I've always known that so I knew that at some point she would leave me for you." He said.

"_Christian I told you that I wouldn't ruin your marriage." He said._

"Well obviously that plan didn't work so well." Christian snickered.

"_Christian it didn't mean anything ok? We were both confused and angry and we needed to sort something's out. It just happened…but I made her leave afterwards." Hyde said._

"So now that you've told me this information…what exactly do you expect me to do?" Christian asked.

"_Look man I don't know. But I just wanted you to know the truth." He said.  
_

"Yeah well thanks." Christian said. "I guess I have to call my wife and ask for a divorce now."

_"No. No Christian don't do that. It was a mistake. Nothing more." Hyde said._

"Hyde she loves you. When are you going to realize that?" Christian asked. "I mean are you blind?"

_"Why did you marry her if you thought she loved me?" He asked._

"Because. I loved her." He said.

_Hyde sighed. "Just…don't call and attack her, ok? She's been having a really hard time since you left and with what you told me about this girl you have feelings for…I think you can understand her." He said._

Christian sighed. "I guess you are right."

_"You can hate me Christian. I would understand it if you did." He said._

Christian sighed. "I really want to hate you Hyde. But I know that you would take care of her…and in a sick way…I think it would be better if you two were together."

_"But what about the kids?" He asked. _

"They will be upset. But…I love my kids, and so does Jackie. We would find a way to work it out." Christian said.

_Hyde was surprised at how well Christian was taking this. "So…are you asking me to be with Jackie?"_

"Hyde I'm just confused right now. I don't think I can talk about this anymore." He said.

_Hyde cleared his throat. "I understand."_

"But I do need you to do something for me." He said.

_Hyde wasn't sure if he was going to like what he wanted him to do, but he knew that he owed it to him. "Um…sure. What is it?"_

"I want you to go work things out with Jackie. I can't stand to think that she is in pain right now because you asked her to leave after you…" He sighed. "Whatever."

_"Christian…" Hyde started._

"Please. Just go make up with her." He said.

_"Why do you have to be so damn chivalrous?" Hyde asked._

_  
_Christian laughed sadly. "I don't know man. Trust me…I don't enjoy giving up the woman I love."

_"I think that we shouldn't make any decisions until _you_ come home." Hyde said._

Christian nodded. "That sounds good."

_"I really am sorry Christian. You have to know that. I never thought I would actually break up your marriage like this. But Jackie and me…I think it just won't ever go away." He said._

Christian rubbed his eyes. "Yeah, I don't think it will either. But I've made mistakes too." Christian said pulling a picture of a woman out of his wallet.  
_  
"What's that supposed to mean?" Hyde asked curiously._

"Nothing. Just go talk to Jackie." Christian said putting the picture away.

_"Bye Christian. Be careful." He said._

Christian sighed. "Yeah. Thanks. Bye Hyde."

When Hyde hung up the phone, he was sort of stunned by what had happened. He knew that it wasn't his place to tell Christian about what had happened between Jackie and him. But with Christian talking his ear off like that, it had felt like it needed to be said. After ignoring Jackie for so long, he knew that he had to go talk to Jackie. He took a deep breath and grabbed his stuff before heading out of the door.

* * *

At Jackie's house, the kids were running around the house as Jackie was cleaning up around the house. Since the incident with Hyde, Jackie had devoted all her time to the kids to try and make things easier for them. She made sure that they had everything they needed whenever. She hadn't seen much of the gang because she was afraid they would be able to read her and know what happened. When the doorbell rang, she snapped out of her cleaning daze and walked over casually to see who it was. When she opened the door, her heart dropped to the floor.

"Steven…" She whispered.

He shoved his nervous hands into his pockets. "Hey Jacks…"

"Steven what are you doing here?" She asked looking back at her kids.

"I uh…I need to talk to you about something." He said.

"Uncle Hyde!" Abby said running over to him, attaching herself to Hyde's leg.

"Hey there Abby." Hyde said hugging her as he lifted her up.

"Where have you been?" She asked. "I missed you."

Hyde smiled. "I missed you too kiddo."

"Hey Uncle Hyde." Jimmy said softly, standing behind his mother.

Hyde smiled at him. "Hey buddy. What's up?"

"Nothing." He said looking down.

"Jimmy why don't you bring Abby into the kitchen. I bet those cookies are cooled off. You can each have two with a glass of milk, ok?" She said bending down to her son.

He smiled at her. "Ok Mom."

"Bye Uncle Hyde." Abby said kissing his cheek.

Hyde smiled and set her down. "See ya little one."

Jimmy took Abby's hand and led her to the kitchen and took one last look at his Mom and Hyde before shutting the door. When the kids were gone, Jackie moved aside so Hyde could enter the living room. They stood there uncomfortably for a few moments before Jackie spoke up.

"Steven?" She asked.

Hyde sighed. "Sorry. I guess this is just a bit awkward."

"Steven I'm so sorry I hurt you." She said.

Hyde shook his head. "Jackie I could have stopped it. But I wanted you. I needed you."

Jackie bit her lip nervously. "Yes, but what about the abor-"

"It's ok." He said quickly.

Jackie looked down and closed her eyes. "No. No, it can't be ok. I murdered our baby." She said feeling the tears swell up in her eyes.

Hyde walked closer to her. "Jackie I wouldn't have believed you. You were right about that."

Jackie looked up at him as the tears fell from her eyes. "Our lives could have been so different."

"But you wouldn't have had Abby and Jimmy." He said.

"But I wouldn't have had to hurt Christian either." She said.

Hyde sighed. "I told Christian."

Jackie's eyes widened. "What?"

"He called to talk to me about something's and it just sort of slipped out. I'm sorry." Hyde said. "I know it wasn't my place."

"Well what did he say?" Jackie asked wrapping her arms around herself.

"He was mad at first. But then…" He started.

"Then what?" Jackie asked impatiently.

"He thinks that you and I should be together." He said.

Jackie's eyes widened and she opened her mouth to speak but couldn't find the words. She walked away and then turned to look at him again. "He wants us to be together?"

Hyde walked closer to her and took her hand. "Yes."

She shook her head. "How can he be so calm about this?"

"He said that he knew that I would take care of you." He said.

Jackie looked up at him. "What about Abby and Jimmy?"

"It's not going to be easy." Hyde said.

"God even though he accepts it, it doesn't make me feel any better about the situation." She said.

Hyde nodded. "Of course not. You care about Christian."

Jackie shook her head. "It wasn't supposed to be this way."

Hyde rubbed her arm. "Jacks…"

"I'm not supposed to be like my parents." She said looking down again.

Hyde lifted her chin with his finger. "How can you say that you are like your parents? You are nothing like them Jackie. You love your children more than anything."

"But I still found a way to break up our family." She said.

"Jackie I know it all seems messed up right now but you can't beat yourself up over this." He said.

Jackie looked at him. "I've made so many mistakes." Jackie said wiping her eyes.

"So have I." He said sighing. "But we can fix them."

"Abby and Jimmy will never forgive me! Especially Jimmy." She said. "Steven I love you but I can't put my children through this."

"I know you are only saying these things because you are scared. When we…" He paused. "When it happened…you wanted me to be with you."

"Oh Steven of course I want not be with you. I'm just afraid of what my children will think." She said.

"Mommy?" A voice asked in the distance.

Jackie turned around to see her son Jimmy standing in the kitchen doorway. "Jimmy…honey I thought you were with your sister."

"Abby didn't want a cookie. She went upstairs to play in her room." He said.

Jackie wiped her eyes away quickly. "Oh well sweetie, Uncle Hyde and I are just-"

"Mommy I need to tell you something." He said walking up to where Hyde and Jackie were.

Jackie sat down on the edge of the couch and rubbed Jimmy's shoulder. "What is it sweetie?"

"Daddy has a secret." Jimmy said looking down.

Jackie looked at Hyde who shook his head. "Honey what are you talking about?"

"When I was eight I caught Daddy kissing someone that wasn't you." He said sniffing.

Jackie's heart skipped a beat. "What?"

"Daddy said that I couldn't tell you or you would divorce him." He said.

Jackie pulled her son closer to her, angry at Christian for putting such pressure on his son. "Sweetie…you're sure?"

Jimmy nodded. "I got mad at him and he said that I had to be a good boy or our family would fall apart. I didn't want that." He looked up at his Mom with tears in his eyes. "I'm sorry I lied to you Mommy but I was scared."

Jackie pulled Jimmy to her and hugged him tightly. "Oh Jimmy…honey it's not your fault."

"He was with that lady for a long time. She used to come over here." Jimmy said.

Jackie was shocked at her son's confession. "Jimmy do you know what her name is?"

"Elizabeth Daniels." He said. "She's the one that gave Abby her favorite doll Cassie."

Jackie shook her head. "Your Dad bought her that."

Jimmy shook her head. "No. She brought it to Abby but they told Abby to tell you it was from Daddy."

Jackie swallowed the lump in her throat. "Jimmy honey I don't know what to say."

"I love Daddy. But I know what he did was wrong. And I know that you love Uncle Hyde. I was afraid he would break up the family but now I realize Daddy already did that a long time ago." He said crying hard now.

Jackie hugged Jimmy. "Jimmy I'm so sorry honey. God I'm so sorry that your father and I have screwed up so badly.

"It's not your fault Mommy." Jimmy said.

_  
_"I love you Jimmy." Jackie said kissing his head.

Jimmy pulled away and smiled at his Mom. "I love you too." He turned to Hyde and smiled at him. "You love Abby and I don't you?"

Hyde nodded slowly. "I do. As if you were my own children."

"And you wouldn't ask us to stop talking to our father?" He asked.

Hyde shook his head. "Never."

He nodded. "Than I give you permission to be with my Mom." He said holding his hand out to her.

Jackie smiled at Hyde who shook the boy's hand. "Thank you Jimmy."

Jimmy smiled and then ran to Hyde and hugged him tightly and Hyde hugged him back. "Just don't hurt us."

Hyde closed his eyes at the boys words and he then opened them to look at Jackie who was crying again. "I won't. I promise."

Jimmy pulled back and smiled weakly at Jackie and Hyde. "I'm going upstairs to play with Abby."

Jackie waved slowly. "I love you Jimmy Jamz."

Jimmy just smiled as he walked up the stairs. Jackie sighed and rubbed her eyes before looking up at Hyde again. "I can't believe this."

"Are you ok?" He asked.

Jackie looked down. "I honestly don't know."

"I wouldn't be upset if you said you weren't. You just found out that your husband was having a lasting affair." He said.

"Do you think he did it because he thought I was sneaking around with you?" She asked slowly before looking up at him.

Hyde sighed and sat down beside her. "I don't know. Maybe."

"Because when I married Christian…I told myself I would never cheat on him with you." She said. "And I know I broke that promise…but I really thought I could do it."

Hyde rubbed her back slowly and pulled her off the arm rest and onto his lap. "Jackie it's going to be ok."

"Yes but it is going to take some time to sort out this mess. Especially with Christian in Afghanistan." She said.

Hyde nodded. "I know. But I've waited almost fourteen years to be with you again. I think I can wait a little longer."

Jackie smiled and looked into Hyde's eyes. "I love you so much."

Hyde leaned up to kiss her slowly. "I love you too."

She sighed. "I'm just upset that he brought that woman around my children."

Hyde nodded. "That was wrong of him."

"God I can't believe I didn't know it." She said.

"Well apparently he was good at hiding it." He said. _  
_

Jackie rested her head on his shoulder. "Steven if we are going to do this…I need you to understand that my children come first. I've already put them through enough…the last thing they need is for me to be an absentee parent."

"Jackie I love Abby and Jimmy. I will be there for them every step of the way. And while it will be hard at first, I think it will turn out ok because this might be for the better. There won't be anymore lying. I mean I can't imagine what poor Jimmy was going through having to keep that from you. This way, you and Christian will both be happy and you can still love the children without compromising their lives." Hyde said.

Jackie nodded. "You're right."

Hyde kissed her forehead. "Tell me what you're thinking."

"I never imagined myself getting divorced. My whole life seems like one messed up movie that I can't edit." She said.

"You're not alone anymore Jacks. We're in this together and no matter what I promise we'll fix this." He said.

Jackie closed her eyes and breathed him in. "I haven't felt this safe in years…"

Hyde held her tighter. "I've got you now Jackie. And I'm not letting go again."

She felt the tears prickling in her eyes and she knew she couldn't hold them back. She was crying for her failed marriage and the fact that she had betrayed her husband. She was crying for her son who had to keep such a secret from her for so long and for the fact that her husband had been cheating on her for years. She was crying for her children, and the stress and pain they would have to endure before they figured out this mess. And she was crying for her and Hyde, and for the time they had wasted by being afraid to love one another. They had made may mistakes, but lying in Hyde's arms once again she knew deep down that he did love her and that he was telling her the truth, he wouldn't let her go again. They would figure this out. They had to, because she needed him now…and forever.

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Back at the camp in Afghanistan, Christian was looking at the picture he had looked at when talking to Hyde. It was Elizabeth. Deep down he truly did love Jackie but he had had the affair because he knew that Jackie's heart belonged to Hyde all along. Elizabeth loved him but he had broken off the affair a year before because it was to hard keeping it from Jackie. But now that he knew his marriage was going to break apart for good, he knew there was one phone call he needed to make. He picked up the phone and dialed a familiar number.

"Hello?" A woman asked answering.

"Elizabeth." He said. "It's Christian…"

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**Sooooooooooooo...what did you think? Let me know! REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW! :)  
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	6. So I Can Feel You In My Arms

**Ok so here is the next chapter. This is the second to last chapter...an epilouge will soon follow. I hope you like it! This is an emotional chapter! Let me know what you think of it by dropping some REVIEWS! And then go check out my two new stories, "Just The Way You Are" and "Are You Ok?" The second one could turn into more than a one shot if you all like it enough so check it out! :) Thanks for all the support on this! It's been great!**

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A week had passed and Jackie and Hyde were taking things very slow, after all Jackie was still a married woman. One afternoon, Hyde came over to the house and Jimmy answered the door.

"Oh hey Hyde." He said.

Hyde smiled. "Hey Jimmy. Where's your Mom?"

"She's upstairs." He said.

"How is she doing today?" He asked.

Jimmy shrugged and looked down. "Alright I guess."

Hyde nodded. "And what about you?"

Jimmy looked up at Hyde and smiled. "I'm just happy that I don't have to lie anymore."

Hyde knelt down in front of him. "Jimmy it was wrong of your Dad to ask you to lie like that."

Jimmy nodded. "I know. All this time I was so worried that you would break up our family and my Dad already did."

Hyde sighed. "This can't be easy for you, or Abby."

Jimmy shook his head. "I just want Mom and Dad to be happy. I think they would be better off apart."

"You know your parents love you and Abby very much don't you?" He asked.

Jimmy nodded. "Yes."

"And even though things are going to change…it doesn't mean that you won't have the both of them." He said.

Jimmy smiled. "I know. And I'll have you too right?"

Hyde smiled. "Of course."

Jimmy smiled. "I'm going to go play with Abby. Mom's in her room."

Hyde smiled and stood up before ruffling Jimmy's hair. "Thanks kid."

Jimmy was half way down the hall before he turned around. "Oh and Hyde?"

Hyde turned again to him. "Yeah buddy?"

"Just don't break her heart ok?" He asked.

Hyde smiled. "I wouldn't dream of it."

* * *

Jimmy smiled and Hyde walked up the stairs to Jackie's room. When he made it to the end of the hallway, he peered into her room and saw her sitting on the bed. She was staring at a framed a picture and he could tell that she was crying. He took a deep breath and then walked into the room and took the frame from her and held her hand.

"Hey…what's wrong?" He asked.

Jackie looked up at him with watery eyes. "Oh Steven…"

"Come on honey." He said wiping away her tears. "Talk to me."

She sniffled. "I've just been thinking…about everything and it's all too much to bear."

"You're not going through this alone though sweetie." He said.

"Steven my husband was having an affair for almost four years and I didn't know." She said.

Hyde sighed. "I know."

"And I care about you Steven, I do. But it still hurts that he could do that to me and drag our children into it no less!" She yelled.

"It was wrong." He said.

"I stayed faithful to him. Even though part of me still wanted to be with you…I stayed faithful up until now." She said.

He rubbed her leg. "You we're an amazing wife." He said.

"Just what kind of example did Christian and I make for our children? Now they are going to think its ok to cheat on their spouses." She said.

Hyde shook his head. "Jackie you are a wonderful mother. You've done everything right. And Jimmy understands what's going on. He's a smart kid."

"But it's wrong. All of it." She said.

"We're going to figure this out." He said.

"I wish I could talk to Christian about this. There are things that we really need to sort out." She said.

"Well Christian is in-" Hyde started.

"Point Place." Christian said from the doorway.

Jackie and Hyde quickly turned their heads and saw Christian standing there with Abby and Jimmy by his side.

"Daddy's home!" Abby yelled.

Jackie swallowed nervously. "I can see that…"

"Hello Jackie." Christian said.

"Christian what are you doing back?" She asked.

He sighed and looked down. "I told my sergeant that we had a pressing family matter and he agreed that it would be best for me to come home and sort this all out."

Jackie looked down. "Oh."

"I think we should talk." He said.

Jackie looked up quickly. "I think so too."

"Jackie?" Hyde asked nervously.

She looked over at him and smiled shyly. "It will be alright Steven. Can you take the kids outside to play?" She asked. "I think Christian and I need to talk alone first."

Hyde nodded. "Ok."

Hyde stood up and walked over to the doorway to face Christian for the first time. "Hi Hyde." He said.

Hyde nodded. "Welcome home Christian."

"This got a bit messed up didn't it?" Christian asked trying to laugh it off.

"You should talk to Jackie." He said taking Abby's hand. "I'll be downstairs."

Christian nodded. "Right."

Hyde took one last look at Jackie before walking with the kids down the hallway to leave Jackie and Christian alone. Christian took a deep breath before entering the bedroom and setting his bags down near the dresser. Jackie didn't move from her seat on the bed, she just kept her eyes glued to the floor. Christian turned to stare at her back and he could see that she was shaking. He wanted to run to her and hug her but he knew that that wasn't his place anymore.

"I should have called." He said. "But it was sort of a rushed decision."

"It's fine." Jackie said. "This is your home."

"It's our home." He corrected.

Jackie turned to look at him with tears in her eyes. "I know about Elizabeth."

Christian's eyes widened. "You do?"

"Jimmy told me." She said standing up.

"Jackie…" Christian started.

"We're you going to come here and try to blame this all on me?" She asked. "When all that time you we're having an affair? And you made our children lie to me!"

"I know it was wrong." He said looking down.

"Was she in our bed?" She asked accusingly.

Christian looked up quickly. "No! Never!"

"Are you sure about that? Because according to our children she was in this house quite a bit." She said.

"Jackie I'm sorry." He said.

"Why?" She asked. "Because you got caught?"

He shook his head. "No. I'm sorry for the affair."

"Do you love her?" She asked.

Christian sighed and looked down. "Yes."

She nodded. "Why did you let it go on for so long? Why did you do this?"

Christian took a step towards her and reached for her hand which she quickly pulled away. "Jackie…can you honestly tell me that you weren't just as unfaithful in your own way?"

"No." She said. "That was different. I didn't sleep with Steven for four years." She said.

Christian nodded. "You're right. But your heart always belonged to him. You let me think that you loved me and you married me when you wanted to be with Hyde."

"I did love you!" She yelled. "I still do!"

"Jackie I know that you love me. And I love you too…but we both know that you're heart has always belonged to Hyde." He said shaking his head sadly.

"Then why did you want to marry me?" She asked.

"Because I thought that eventually you would stop loving him. I thought that you would eventually love me just as much as you loved him. But it never happened." He said sadly.

Jackie bit her lip as the tears began to burn in her eyes. "I did love you Christian. Please know that…it's just with Steven I-"

"I know." He said taking her hand. "I know."

"God what have we done?" She asked.

Christian sighed. "We both wanted love so desperately we relied on each other when I think we both knew it would never last."

"That is so messed up." She said softly.

Christian nodded. "Yeah it is."

"How did you know that I still loved Steven?" She asked.

"Well for one thing…you never called him Hyde." He said. "Everyone called him Hyde but you…" He said.

"I've always called him Steven." She said wrapping her arms around herself.

"Because you've always loved him." He said smiling.

She looked down, afraid to meet his eyes. "What else?"

"You were always talking about him. And whenever he was around, you seemed to smile brighter…laugh harder. There was a presence about you when he was around that didn't' seem to exist when it was just us." He said with tears in his own eyes.

"Oh Christian I am so sorry." She said placing a hand on his arm.

He smiled at her. "Don't be. What you and Hyde have is really special. It's been able to withstand a whole lot and that means you two deserve to be together."

"What about us?" She asked.

Christian walked even closer to her and cupped her face. "I did love you Jackie. And I always will…you gave me two beautiful children that I will cherish for the rest of my life. But we don't belong together."

The tears were falling freely. "I do love Steven but this isn't making it hurt any less."

He nodded. "I know."

"What about the kids?" She asked.

"We'll have shared custody." He said. "Fifty-fifty."

She nodded. "That's good."

"And you'll be free to be with Hyde. I won't stop you." He said honestly.

"And what about you?" She asked. "Are you going to be with Elizabeth?"

Christian sighed. "I hope so. I called her before I came home and told her everything. She agreed to meet with me tomorrow."

Jackie smiled. "I'd like to meet her."

He raised an eyebrow surprised by her words. "You would?"

Jackie nodded. "Yes. Jimmy and Abby seem to like her. She must be special."

Christian smiled softly. "She is."

Jackie smiled. "You deserve to be happy."

"And so do you Jackie, which is why I know that breaking up, is the right thing to do." He said.

"I still want to be a part of your life." She said honestly.

"And I want to be part of yours too Jackie. With the kids we will see each other." He said.

"We'll be friends?" She asked skeptically.

He sighed. "I suppose so."

"I don't know how easy that is going to be." She said.

Christian smiled. "It won't be easy. It's going to be really hard. But I do love you Jackie and I don't want to lose you completely."

She shook her head. "You won't."

"And for our children's sake we have to stay close. I still want us to be somewhat of a family." He said.

"I agree. I couldn't bare for them to have a broken home like I did." She said.

Christian nodded. "So it's settled then? We'll just be…friends?"

Jackie smiled sadly. "I guess so."

"Jackie as hard as this is…I think it will be for the best." He said.

Jackie nodded. "I agree."

He smiled at her. "Can I ask for one last favor?"

Jackie smiled up at him. "Of course."

"Can I have one last kiss?" He asked staring down at her.

Jackie smiled through her tears. "I was hoping you would say that."

Christian smiled and stepped into her as her arms went around his waist. He cupped her face in his hands and stared into her eyes for a moment before their lips met in a passionate kiss. It only lasted a moment but it was enough for them to both feel closure. They couldn't blame each other because they had both been unfaithful in their own ways. When they pulled apart they shared a small smile.

"I want you to be happy." Christian said. "Always."

"You too." She said.

"I know that Hyde will treat you well. But if you ever need anything…please don't hesitate to ask." He said.

"I won't." She said nodding her head.

He smiled. "We should talk to the kids."

She nodded. "I'll talk to Steven and tell him we need to speak to them alone." She said.

Christian nodded. "That will be good."

She bit her lip. "I am sorry." She whispered. "So sorry…"

"Me too." He said kissing her forehead. "Me too…"

* * *

Jackie smiled at him again before they walked down the hallway and down the stairs. They found Hyde playing Monopoly with the kids at the coffee table.

"Daddy!" Abby said running over to him.

He scooped her up in his arms. "Hello princess."

"Why are you and Mommy sad?" Abby asked.

"We're not sad." Jackie said rubbing Abby's cheek.

"But you're crying Mommy." Abby said.

Jackie tried to smile. "I'm ok."

Hyde stood back as Jimmy walked over to his parents. "So you guys are getting a divorce?"

Abby looked at her parents. "You are?" She said pouting slightly.

Jackie looked at Christian unsure of what to say. "Yes sweetie we are. But everything is going to be alright."

"No!" Abby said burying her head in her father's neck.

"Sweetie it's going to be ok." Christian said crying as he held her.

Jackie had to turn away and she walked over to Hyde. "Can we talk outside?"

Hyde nodded. "Sure."

Jackie and Hyde quickly went out the backdoor and stood by the El Camino. "Oh God…"

"Are you alright?" He asked, gently placing a had on her shoulder.

Jackie sighed and looked up at him. "I don't know."

"What did Christian say?" He asked.

"He and I agreed that we were both unfaithful and we want a civil divorce. We'll have shared custody of the kids." She said.

Hyde smiled. "That's good."

She nodded. "It is. But it doesn't make it hurt any less."

Hyde nodded. "I understand."

Jackie looked up at him and she stepped into his embrace, holding him tightly. "Steven…"

He held her back and kissed the top of her head. "It's going to be ok."

"Steven I do love you. And Christian wants me to be with you…but I need some time." She said.

Hyde nodded against her body. "I know."

"I need to make sure the kids are alright before I jump into a relationship with you." She said.

Hyde swallowed hard. "That's fine."

She closed her eyes tightly. "Abby looked so devastated."

"She'll understand that it is for the best eventually." He said.

"I never wanted this life for my children." She whispered.

"I know you didn't Jackie. But marriage and life is more complicated then most people realize. I promise that everything will work itself out." He said.

"We will be together." She said unsure of herself.

Hyde pulled away from her and held her face in his hands. "Yes. We will."

She smiled up at him. "I believe you."

He smiled at her and kissed her nose. "You should go be with your kids. Call me later?"

She nodded. "I will."

He winked at her. "I love you Jackie. This is a step in the right direction."

She nodded. "I know."

"We'll figure it out together." He said.

She nodded and kissed his cheek. "I know."

"Bye Jacks." He said kissing her lips tenderly.

"Bye Steven. I love you." She whispered.

He sighed happily. "I love hearing you say that again."

She smiled. "I should have said it a long time ago Steven. My hearts always belong to you…I was just too afraid to admit it."

He held her hand and squeezed it gently. "Well you don't have to be afraid anymore doll."

She smiled and wiped her tears away. "I'm not."

"Good. I'll talk to you later." He said getting in the car.

She waved to him. "Bye."

He revved up the engine and then pulled out of the driveway. "Bye doll. Keep smiling."

She nodded. "I'll try."

* * *

He winked again and then pulled out of the driveway. The wind blew softly and Jackie closed her eyes, relishing in the feeling of his lips on hers. She smiled because she knew he was right…everything would be alright in the end. She took a deep breath and then entered the house again. She saw Christian sitting on the couch with Abby and Jimmy on either side of him and they were all crying. Jackie broke down again and ran over to them.

"Oh I love you guys." Jackie whispered.

Abby hiccupped. "Daddy said that you will be with Uncle Hyde and he will be with Ms. Elizabeth." She said.

Jackie nodded. "Yes sweetie…but that doesn't mean that your Daddy and I don't love you and Jimmy."

"But you don't love each other anymore." Abby said softly.

Jackie shook her head. "No that's not true honey. I love your father very much."

"And I love your mother." Christian said.

"But you just can't be together?" Abby asked.

"It will be for the best." Jimmy said to his sister. "You'll see."

"But we won't all live together." Abby said looking at her father.

Christian kissed the top of her head. "We won't all live under one roof. But I'm still going to live in Point Place and you'll stay with me and Mommy equally."

"Who will live here?" Jimmy asked.

Jackie sighed. "I don't know sweetie."

"I think it would be best if we sold this house and we all start over." Christian said.

Jackie looked at Christian surprised by his suggestion and then she smiled. "I think that is a good idea."

"I wouldn't want to live with any other woman in this house other than you Jackie." Christian said honestly.

Jackie smiled. "Thank you Christian."

He nodded softly. "You're welcome."

"I do love Uncle Hyde…" Abby said. "And I know he loves you Mommy."

"He does sweetie. Very much so." Jackie said kissing her head.

"And even though you're Mommy and I won't be married anymore…it doesn't mean that we won't be a family. I promise that nothing will change the way we all love each other." Christian said.

Abby looked at her father. "You promise?"

"I promise." Christian said.

"I promise too princess." Jackie said ruffling Abby's curly hair.

Abby sniffled. "Ok then…I guess its ok."

Jackie looked over at Jimmy. "What about you buddy? Are you ok?"

Jimmy shrugged. "I'm not gonna lie…it does stink."

Jackie laughed. "I agree. It totally stinks."

"But I'm glad we don't have to all lie anymore." He said.

Christian sighed. "Jimmy, Abby…it was wrong of me to ask you guys to lie to your mother." He said. "I'm very sorry."

Jimmy smiled. "It's ok Dad. We're all starting over right?"

Christian smiled as more tears fell form his eyes. "Yes. We are."

He nodded. "Then all is forgiven."

Jackie smiled and kissed Jimmy's cheek. "You two are amazing. You're father and I don't deserve you guys."

"I agree with that." Christian said kissing both of his kids heads.

"We're going to be ok." Jimmy said.

Jackie nodded. "We are."

"I love you Mommy and Daddy." Abby whispered.

Christian kissed her head again. "We love you too baby girl."

Abby rested her head on her Dad's shoulder. "Can we just stay here?"

"Just for tonight?" Jimmy asked.

Jackie smiled. "I can't imagine anywhere I'd rather be."

Christian smiled at Jackie and they shared a brief moment. "Me either."

And so the four family members sat together, holding one another all night and talking about the situation. They agreed to always be there for one another and that juts because they were going to be split it up it didn't mean they weren't a family anymore. They were just going to gain two more people into their family and whoever else joined them. As hard as it was to say goodbye…they all knew it was for the best and in the end everything would work out for the best.

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**So what did you think? Let me know! REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW! :) Then check out my other stories and REVIEW those too! :) THANKS!  
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